Signs Of An Emotional Affair

An emotional affair starts with no intention of creating a bond between the affair partners. However, there’s just a thin line between close friendship and emotional affairs. Most people cross this line without knowing and find themselves straying. Emotional affairs, if not identified and controlled, can get to sexual encounters.

You may be experiencing an emotional affair but don’t know how to differentiate it from close friendships. To help you understand whether you are in an emotional affair, we share some common signs of an emotional affair.

Signs you are having an emotional affair.

You find excuses to be around them.

When friendship is crossing over to an emotional affair, this becomes one of the common signs. You find reasons to stay around them and spend time with them. This is when you extend your project and working hours and want to sit beside them in meetings.

Frequent contact

When you are apart, you want to keep the communication going, and you find yourself doing it frequently. You may even find yourself communicating with each other during odd hours, video calling, and texting.

You share your personal problems with them.

When you find yourself sharing your personal issues with them, then you are emotionally attached to them. You share almost every problem, including your problems in your current relationship with them. As you do this, you become more disconnected from your spouse.

Think more about them

Your emotions and thoughts start getting directed towards them most of the time, in the morning, daytime, and evening. You even think about them when dressing up for anything. You ask yourself whether they will recognize your dressing.

You start thinking they are better.

When you find yourself comparing them and thinking they are better and understand you more than your spouse, you may be emotionally attached to them.

You begin spending more time together.

If you find yourself spending more time with the “friend” than your partner, it could be a sign of an emotional affair. You begin planning to go on a walk, dinner, and having a good time together with the person and even almost forget about your partner.

You hide the “friendship”  from your partner.

If you hide something from your partner, then it’s probably what you think will upset him when he finds out. If you know your partner will not approve of your relationship with the person, they may have a good reason.

You reduce your intimacy with your partner.

The more intimacy you used to share with your partner drastically decreases since you become less connected to them. You begin connecting more emotionally with the other person. Similarly, the physical intimacy with your partner also decreases as a result. You instead find yourself lost in thoughts about the other person.

You find it hard to concentrate around them.

Finding it hard to concentrate is a normal part of sexual arousal. When infatuation begins to develop, sexual attraction blocks your thinking and judgment. 

You start having fantasies and dreams about them.

You will know you are in an emotional affair when you begin picturing ideal moments with the person. You think about what would be about having intimate moments such as cuddling and sexual encounters with them. Sometimes, you even find yourself dreaming about them. This is a clear sign that you are developing a feeling towards them.

Signs your partner is having an emotional affair.

Now that you have to know the signs that may tell you’re in an emotional affair, how do you find out about your partner?

Friend’s names pop up most of the time.

Just in the middle of a conversation with your partner, you hear them mention the person’s name more often. Sometimes, you also see them texting and calling each other more frequently.

You feel like you’re in a competition.

When your partner frequently compares you with their friend and uses phrases such as “I wish you could do this like…”

This could be a sign of what transpires behind the scenes when they are cheating on you.

You can’t guess what they are thinking.

When you realize something is always bothering your partner but cannot tell what exactly it is, they may be thinking about them or how they’re going to spend time together.

Their schedule changes

Your partner was not a fan of Social Media. But since they found themselves in an emotional affair, they change their schedule to accommodate their “friend.” Sometimes you notice them posting photos more frequently than they were used to to get validation from the person.

How To Deal With An Emotional Affair

You can address the situation and get out of an emotional affair. Here are a few things to do to deal with an emotional affair.

Be honest

Acknowledging that you are becoming emotionally attached to someone is the first step to ending such relationships. However simple it looks, being honest is proving to be a much tricky aspect with many people.

Find out what is missing in your relationship with your spouse.

Have a self-time and where possible, involve a professional therapist to help you figure out what is it that is attracting you to your affair partner. In turn, you will find out what is missing in your relationship and help you work on it.

Talk to your partner.

Another way is to talk directly to your partner and tell them about the emotional intimacy you yearn for. You can also speak to them about an ideal relationship you are looking for and work together to achieve it.

Having an emotional affair while in a romantic relationship can be detrimental and dangerous for your relationship. Most people do not know where to draw the line between close friendship and emotional affairs. Even when they realize it’s always too late after they have strayed. 

Keeping these signs close to you will help you identify them at an early stage and avoid it. 

Avoiding or ending an emotional affair requires effort and support from the therapist and partner.