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9 Reasons Why Affairs End

why affairs end

While you have a thrill and excitement with your affair partner, something you think you are not getting out of your marriage, the clock is ticking. Do affairs even stand the test of times? Let’s find out why affairs end.

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According to WebMD research, the average timeline of the “in love” stage in an affair is 6-18 months. Some even don’t last to this point. This shows how slim the chances affairs have to turn into a successful relationship. In fact, only 10% of affairs end up in long-term relationships. Out of the 10%, just one of them has a successful relationship.

But what are the reasons why affairs end? A lot has been written about why people cheat. But the same cannot be said why affairs end. Here are the six common reasons why affairs don’t last.

Why affairs end

Your affair partner cannot meet all your needs.

The initial excitement and thrill in an affair make you think you are getting everything from your affair partner. In reality, they could just be offering you sexual intimacy and not all your needs. 

Worse, you come to realize they have flaws, just like your romantic partner. But you again realize you can stomach your wife’s flaws with all your needs addressed. The first thing you realize is that their affair partner cannot fill your relationship partner’s role. 

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Affairs begin with lies and dishonesty.

why affairs end
Source: The Independent

At first, you may find the lies and dishonesty of your affair partner flattering. You even accept the cheating just to be with each other. But as time goes by, you begin wondering if you are just betraying your partner or even yourselves. When you don’t see each other on any planned day, jealousy kicks in. When you are in an affair with a cheater, you even ask yourself whether they will cheat on you if your affair turns out to be a successful long-term relationship.

You realize your affair partner isn’t so perfect.

You left and cheated on your partner, thinking the grass is greener on the other side. But then you realize you could have just watered your side. Cheating partners come to realize they even lack more than what made them cheat, and their affair partner is not as perfect as they thought.

Initially, when the affair is at its early stage, you could assume all the less desirable traits. When reality kicks in after some time, you can’t take more of these traits. You then wonder if having an affair was worth it.

It’s just spinning your wheel.

The same problems you have in your marriage do not leave you when you decide to cheat. You bring all of them to your affair. Although you feel so contented right now and may even blame your spouse for denying you the happiness in your relationship, you will soon realize the same reasons you are unhappy pop up in your affair. 

When you move from one relationship to another without reflecting on yourself, you remain the same, and your issues stay with you.

Affairs get boring too.

While you may have decided to cheat on your spouse because your relationship was boring, you may realize that affairs also get boring. Will you go on cheating with another person? You will still get to this point. Maintaining an affair and the secrets could be too stressful. You both live two separate lives and realize your affair has no real foundations of commitment. Sooner than later, the excitement and secrets begin to fade off.

You realize the potential loss is too significant.

When you sit down and have a self-reflection of the consequences, you may face cheating on your spouse, and reality gets the better of you. You find out that the affair is not worth the potential loss.

Apart from losing your spouse, you are at risk of losing respect from family, friends, and children if you have them. You may even lose your finances and suffer emotionally.

While many people think the effects of cheating are severe on the victim, it is actually worse for the cheater.

Your affair partner wants to see progress.

While this is not what you had planned when thinking of having an affair, you may sometimes get into this situation. Your affair partner begins to develop feelings towards you and even asks you to “affair up” to the next level. This may happen when they are single, and you are the one cheating on your relationship partner. 

But you find yourself hesitating. Why? Because you know who’s better between the two. 

When this happens, the fights and disagreements also set in. The flaws are exposed even more. 

You think of getting caught.

When you enter an affair, you never think you will ever get caught. The thrill blocks this thinking, and you just want to have fun and excitement with each other. But when it gets boring, common sense comes back to you, and you begin to see the possibilities of getting caught at some point. The longer you stay in the affair, the higher the chances of getting caught.

You get caught

Some affairs end because you eventually get caught cheating. Most of the time, you suffer a significant loss and shame that you cannot continue anymore. The effects of cheating and getting caught become so severe on you that you find it hard to be with your affair partner.

Sometimes you also realize that you hurt your relationship partner, family, and friends. When they give you a second chance, you only want to make things right and rebuild your relationship after the affair.

While some people are having an affair that turns into a long-term relationship, 90% of affairs don’t last.

Affairs are majorly a brief respite from the misery of their relationship. Affairs will eventually end when it becomes less worth it. For any reason why affairs end, it is only best to prevent it first from happening. This is the best way of avoiding stress and the effects of cheating on your loved ones and yourself.

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