Is Your Partner a Serial Cheater? 11 Red Flags You Can’t Ignore

Admit it, at any stage of your life, you have been the victim of cheating. Some of you have decided to forgive your partner because you are so involved with them, and it’s so difficult to let them go, especially when they have apologized. Although you have forgiven them, you still have a doubt in your heart: what if they do it again? 

According to a study conducted in 2017, it was found that people who cheated in a previous relationship were almost three times more likely to cheat in another relationship.

If you are trying to heal a relationship with a partner who has cheated and you notice any of these signs of a serial cheater then leave them now. A serial cheater is just like it sounds, a person who has cheated not just once but multiple times. 

These are the worst type of cheaters because they do not stop this habit while still in a relationship even if they say they will make a commitment to stop cheating. Being in a relationship with a serial cheater is detrimental to your own well-being if you are expecting them to stop cheating. 

What is a Serial Cheater?

There is no specific definition for a serial cheater as it is difficult to create one because of diversity in human nature. However, in relationship psychology, a serial cheater is someone who repeatedly exhibits a pattern of infidelity in their relationships. 

This can involve emotional or physical infidelity and can happen multiple times with the same partner or with different partners. 

Aspect	Serial Cheater	Other Cheaters
Definition	Continuously engages in multiple infidelities over time	Engages in infidelity less frequently or as a one-time event
Behavior Pattern	Repeated and consistent cheating behavior	Inconsistent or isolated instances of cheating
Motivation	Often driven by deeper psychological issues, thrill-seeking, or lack of remorse	Can be driven by specific situations, dissatisfaction, or temporary lapse in judgment
Recognition	Often has a reputation for infidelity within social circles	May not have a widely known history of cheating
Relationship Impact	Causes long-term trust issues and instability in relationships	May cause temporary distress but can be resolved with effort
Psychological Traits	Possible traits include narcissism, lack of empathy, or compulsive behavior	Traits can vary widely; not necessarily indicative of deeper psychological issues
Commitment Level	Low commitment to monogamy and long-term relationships	Varies; some may still value their primary relationship highly
Frequency	High frequency of infidelity incidents	Low frequency; might only cheat once or infrequently
Self-awareness	Often aware of their behavior but may rationalize it	May feel guilt and remorse, leading to behavior change
Response to Confrontation	Likely to deny, deflect, or blame others	May confess, seek forgiveness, and attempt to reconcile
Impact on Partner	Significant emotional and psychological harm over time	Emotional harm which may be less severe if it’s an isolated incident

What Makes a Serial Cheater 

There is a famous saying that a monster is not born; it is created by society. Similarly, there are several factors that can play a major role in transforming a person into a serial cheater. According to a recent study, 40% of married couples are affected by infidelity. In order to find the reason behind cheating researchers conducted a study on 495 individuals and identified eight key reasons for cheating: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, desire for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and specific circumstances. 

Following are some of the factors that make a person a serial cheater. 

• Addiction
• Attachment style
• Mental illness
• Witnessing infidelity during childhood
• Childhood trauma

Signs You Need to Look For 

Deeply Insecure

One of the first signs of a serial cheater is that they are all deeply insecure. They can have a highly attractive partner and a good relationship with them yet they will still cheat with someone who is not as attractive. 

This would mean that they are not actually looking for sensual attraction but they are looking to have a higher sense of power over someone else. Serial cheaters are so insecure they seek out anyone they can cheat with that will make them feel less inferior then there own partner who they actually love. Sometimes they are not cheating for sex but more for feeling powerful, especially if they are highly desired by someone less attractive then them.

Here are five behavior signs of a deeply insecure serial cheater:

• Constant need for validation and attention from others.
• Displaying excessive jealousy or possessiveness towards their partner .
• Frequently seeking out new conquests to boost their self-esteem.
• Showing a pattern of manipulating and controlling behavior in relationships.
• Showing interest in less attractive or less accomplished individuals to feel superior and powerful.

Narcissism

Narcissism plays a large role with serial cheaters, they think they are so entitled that they should be able to do anything they want. This is one of the top critical signs of a serial cheater because nothing is their fault. 

A true narcissist will display signs of pathological selfishness, if you notice intense selfishness at the start of any relationship, beware! Narcissistic signs related to cheating would be; flirting and not caring how you feel about it, meeting an ex-partner for coffee and not feeling the need to tell you, cheating on you once and saying its your fault and taking no responsibility of their own. These are just a few examples.

Here are five behavior signs of narcissism related to serial cheating:

• Displays pathological selfishness, prioritizing their own needs and desires.
• Flirts openly with others without regard for your feelings.
• Meets with ex-partners secretly and doesn’t feel the need to inform you.
• Cheats on you and blames you for their infidelity.
• Shows no remorse or concern for how their actions affect you or the relationship.

Loves Instant Gratification

Shopping spree’s, constantly driving fast in unsafe conditions, mountains of credit card debt and just about anything you can think of that seems like an addiction to instant gratification is closely linked to serial cheaters. 

These cheaters just want to get the high of dopamine flooding their brain regardless of the consequences. This was shown in a USA study that had 181 volunteers found out that 50 percent of the participants with a long allele variant of the D4 dopamine receptor gene had been cheaters, compared to only 22 percent of the participants who had the short allele.

Here are five behavior signs indicating a tendency towards instant gratification, often linked to serial cheaters:

• Frequent shopping sprees and excessive spending
• Habitually driving fast in unsafe conditions
• Accumulating significant credit card debt
• Engaging in behaviors that resemble addictions to instant gratification
• Prioritizing the pursuit of dopamine highs regardless of potential consequences.

Entitlement

Closely linked to narcissism as one of the signs of cheating however there is a difference. With narcissism the entitlement is instant, they have and always will feel entitled to anything they want. 

With a serial cheater who might not be a textbook narcissist, they will create a sense of entitlement specific to frequent cheating. They have rationalized and justified their reasons for cheating and if they are ever questioned about why they have cheated in the past you will only hear all the reasons why they did it and that they were justified to do so. 

You will not hear them say, “I did it because of this reason, but I was wrong in doing so”.

Here are five behavior signs indicating a sense of entitlement

• They consistently rationalize their cheating behavior, presenting numerous reasons why their infidelity was justified.
• hey do not acknowledge any wrongdoing or express guilt over their cheating.
• When questioned about their infidelity, they focus on defending their actions rather than taking responsibility.
• They may shift the blame onto their partner or external circumstances to justify their behavior.
• Their decisions and actions frequently prioritize their desires and needs over the well-being of their partner or the relationship.

Frequent Liar

They cant be a cheater and not a liar but a liar is not always a cheater. According to stats,  In romantic relationships, approximately 92% of people report having lied to their partner. Frequency and the depth of the lie are the key differences. What kind of lies you have caught them in, how often they lie, and what it was about all play a role. 

A serial cheater will be lying all the time and it won’t be white lies. They are usually big lies about their past, previous partners and maybe even what they do for work and the city they live in. If you catch them in any big lies, it’s highly possible they are lying about other parts of their life, such as being monogamous or not.

 Five behavioral signs that indicate someone might be a frequent liar

• They lie regularly about various aspects of their life, not just occasional white lies.
• The lies they tell are often substantial, involving major aspects such as their past, previous partners, or even their current living situation and job.
• Their stories frequently change or have discrepancies, making it difficult to trust their words.
• They often avoid providing clear answers or details, instead offering vague or contradictory information.
• When confronted, they are often found lying about significant matters, suggesting they may be deceptive about other important areas like their commitment to monogamy.

Obsessively Social

Of all the signs of a serial cheater you will notice this one easily, they love to be social. Not just on the weekends but all the time. They will constantly be reaching out to people and groups to hangout, to the point you will see that they are never alone. 

The fear of being alone scares them so much they will always be looking to keep busy with people and line up their next intimate date. Being obsessively social allows them to constantly meet new people which makes it easier for them to find their next hook-up. 

Here are five behavior signs of someone who is obsessively social:

• Constantly reaching out to people and groups to hang out.
• Rarely, if ever, seen alone; always in the company of others.
• Fear of being alone drives them to always stay busy with social activities.
• Frequently lining up their next intimate date.
• Continuously meeting new people, facilitating easier access to potential new partners.

Avoidant Attachment

This is usually developed at a young age, caused by parents or caregivers who are emotionally unavailable. This emotional unavailability then passes onto the child and they develop the same trait, this is what could make a serial cheater selfish, show narcissism, have low self-esteem and display no regard for their partners feelings when they frequently cheat.

-The signs of a serial cheater are critical to know if you suspect your partner or your new date to be a cheater. If they are a cheater that can be devastating news, what’s even worse is if they show any of the signs of a serial cheater because that means they will not change. The odds of them changing is so slim that it is not worth the time or stress.

Here are five behavioral signs

• They consistently avoid emotional intimacy and have difficulty expressing their feelings.
• They exhibit selfish tendencies and prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their partner.
• They display traits of narcissism, including a lack of empathy and understanding towards their partner’s emotions and needs.
• They may suffer from low self-esteem, seeking validation and self-worth through multiple partners or affairs.
• They frequently engage in cheating, often justifying their actions and showing little remorse, indicating a deep-seated pattern of behavior that is unlikely to change.

Badmouth Former Partners

It is a common saying that a man’s behavior is judged by how he talks about others, and the same can be said about partners. If a partner speaks poorly of their ex and blames everything on them for their bad relationship, it reflects more on the speaker than on the ex. 

This, in a sense, can absolve them of residual guilt. It can also proactively paint their former partners as unreliable or untrustworthy, however, which can make it more difficult to recognize a history of infidelity.

Here are five behavior signs to detect this issue:

• Frequently speaks negatively about their former partners, blaming them entirely for past relationship issues.
• Shows an inability to acknowledge their own role in past relationship problems.
• Uses criticism of ex-partners as a way to absolve themselves of any guilt.
• Proactively portrays former partners as unreliable or untrustworthy.
• Reluctant to take responsibility for their own actions in past relationships, indicating a pattern of avoiding accountability.

Flirt Often

Some people love to flirt with others regardless of whether their partner is standing next to them or not. When accused, they often argue that it is simply in their nature to be this friendly.

 For example, they might frequently compliment people, engage in physical touch, laugh often, and gently tease others. According to a study, flirtatious behavior increases the likelihood of engaging in financial deception and extramarital infidelity by 458%. This behavior is a non-verbal cue of their tendencies, and these types of people often indulge in secret relationships multiple times.

Here are five behavioral signs that indicate someone might be prone to flirtatious behavior and potentially secret relationships:

• Regularly giving compliments to others, often with a flirty or overly friendly tone.
• Consistently making physical contact, such as touching arms, shoulders, or backs, even in casual interactions.
• Laughing often and loudly, especially in the presence of others, to draw attention and create a sense of intimacy.
• Playfully teasing others in a manner that can be perceived as flirtatious or suggestive.
• When confronted, they defend their actions by claiming it is just their nature to be friendly and sociable.

Overly Charming

People who are overly charming and have the ability to make others follow or manipulate them are a big red flag. Sometimes, you may feel like setting boundaries and confronting them, but whenever you talk to them, you feel like there’s nothing wrong and you are lucky to have them in your life. 

Many of them use charming manipulation tactics to draw your attention. They typically use these same tactics to attract partners outside of the relationship as well. If they’re having an affair, it is highly probable that they employ these–and all other tactics–on their affair partners as well.

Here are five behavior signs for a charming person who has the potential for serial cheating

• They frequently shower you and others with compliments and flattery, making you feel special and valued.
• They have a way with words, easily defusing confrontations and making you feel at ease.
• They subtly push or ignore your boundaries, often convincing you that their actions are harmless.
• They tend to be secretive about certain aspects of their life.
• They constantly seek attention and validation from others.

Very Secretive With Technology 

Nowadays, technology has made cheating easier than ever before. People can create multiple IDs without any hurdles, and there are certain apps that help them flirt and indulge in online sex without attracting any attention. A recent study has revealed that 90% of people have been cheated on, and that most people find out of their partner’s infidelity through at least one form of technology.

 In this era, it is important to share your online information with your partner by giving them access to your phone. It’s not about boundaries and privacy; it’s a way of telling them that you have nothing to hide. On the contrary, if a person is very secretive about their personal devices and refuses to share them with their partner, it is a clear sign that they are involved in something that they don’t want others to know about. 

Here are five behavior signs that someone who is overly secretive about technology

• They have multiple passwords on their devices and apps.
• They constantly switch devices, such as using a different phone or computer.
• They regularly delete their messages, call logs, and browsing history.
• They spend excessive time online or on social media.
• They frequently use private browsing modes or have hidden accounts and profiles on social media.

Dealing with a Serial Cheater

Discovering that your partner is a serial cheater can be devastating and deeply painful. Serial cheating involves repeated infidelities and often signifies deeper underlying issues. Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to deal with a serial cheater:

• Recognize and validate your emotions. It’s normal to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and confused.
• Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist to process your feelings and gain clarity.
• If you decide to continue the relationship, insist on full transparency. This might include sharing passwords, regular check-ins, and open communication about whereabouts.
• TakIs Your Partner a Serial Cheater? 7 Red Flags You Can’t Ignoree time to focus on your own needs and well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and reduce stress.
• Be honest with yourself about whether you can truly forgive and move forward. Sometimes, ending the relationship might be the best choice for your mental and emotional health.

Final Takeaway

As a relationship advisor, I have seen multiple cases in which an individual doesn’t even recognize that their partner has cheated on them multiple times until they discover it accidentally. So, it’s better to notice your partner’s behavior very closely and point out any uncertain behavioral changes. 

Discuss these observations with close friends and family members whom you trust before confronting your partner. Keep in mind that your well-being and mental peace should always be your first priority. Nobody deserves to spend their precious time with someone who can cheat on them whenever they want to.