What To Do When You’re In Love With A Cheater – Relationship Advice

You didn’t plan on being in love with a cheater and we don’t always choose who we love. Sometimes we meet a new partner and there is an instant connection. This connection can flourish a happy relationship naturally but as time goes on there are bound to be some rough patches. These rough patches can either bring you closer together or farther apart. Unfortunately, this rough patch can be caused by infidelity. The problem is that you love the person who just hurt you. So what do you do when you’re in love with a cheater?

Confirm If You Want To Stay In The Relationship

The first step is to make a decision, do you want to stay in the relationship or not? If you are in love with a cheater and you are considering staying in the relationship make sure your partner is committed to correcting their errors and that they do express that they love you too. Infidelity can happen for a variety of reasons, if there reasoning is because they are not happy in the relationship, the two of you might be able to work it out. If they are a serial cheater, the odds of this happening again are not in your favour.

Relationship Counselling

If you decide to stay with your partner, you will need a qualified professional therapist. They will recommend that you first start with a session alone, this will help you gather your thoughts, make a clear decision on what you want and help you sort out how to get it done. Next will be a session with your partner and you together. If your partner is not willing, then they do not really want to stay in the relationship with you. If your partner wants to work it out, they will do what it takes. You can find a local therapist in your area or if you don’t want to leave the house you can also find a therapist online.

Let Them Go

If you decide you need to let them go, this will be hard because you might be thinking about how they are doing. Remember this was the person who hurt you, they made the decision to lie and cheat, not you. What happens to them has nothing to do with you, they picked their own reality and now its time for you to pick yours. Start reading new books to take your mind off of them. Join some empowerment groups, if you had a lot of friends in common you don’t need constant reminders of them so find some new friends. The only guarantees in life is change. You can start a new life, start a new you.

Focus On Yourself

With them or not, the cheater needs to do some work on themselves. If you are still in contact with them make sure you don’t constantly ask if they are working on their personal development. If they are doing their own inner healing then you won’t need to wonder, it will show through there body language, commitments to you both verbally and by the actions they take. Focus on yourself and your own progress, how you feel inside will be a great indicator showing you if your own personal development is working. Some ideas to use to help you focus on yourself; write in a daily journal, make time for friends who help you feel good, try a new activity.

Emotionally Rebuild Yourself

After realizing your still in love with a cheater, you might begin to understand that you need to emotionally rebuild yourself. Sometimes cheaters are also manipulative, they might even attempt to make you feel like it was all your fault and you are the reason why they cheated. It takes two to tango, but to go behind your back, cheat, and lie about it is all their fault. You will need to reinvent yourself, think about it as “this happened to me, now I need to be a person who is calmer, less critical, a more positive person, a more self-loving person” Focus on who you want to be, write it out, then every day actually feel the emotions.

Take Time For Yourself

If you stay in the relationship, it will be a good idea to stay active within the relationship by still going out, having fun and enjoying life. However, you will need to take time for yourself, alone time. This will help you not feel pressured to stay in the relationship and if you change your mind and want to leave the then that’s okay, you are allowed to. If you decide to not be in the relationship, don’t just jump back into the dating world. Take some time to enjoy the single life, you will have more time to visit family and friends and maybe even pick up some new hobbies you never knew you enjoyed.

-Being in love with a cheater happens to a lot of people, you are not alone. Usually, no one talks about it because they feel embarrassed or it’s only shared with close friends. Cheating happens more frequently than the past, especially with social media making it easier to meet new people and the online world also having avenues of secrecy. Just remember to keep your eyes on where you’re going to, and dip into the present feelings from time to time to keep in check with how you are doing emotionally. A clear heart is more fun on the journey of happy dreams than a life of pain that eventually gets you to a goal, but still feeling miserable.