Social Butterfly or Serial Cheater

Having a partner who is a free spirit can be a lot of fun, but it might cause you to wonder if they are a social butterfly or serial cheater. In this type of relationship, you might feel as though you are both on your own path but heading in the same direction. This type of free-spirited life is light-hearted, often not taking anything too seriously and life can be a lot of fun this way. If you are not used to this type of life, it can be a little uncomfortable but it can also help you take down some emotional walls along with opening up any rigidity in your routines.

The important question to consider, is your partner a social butterfly or serial cheater? Lets look at the differences

Social Butterfly

Spontaneous

A social butterfly will often be spontaneous, you cannot consider their routine to be consistent. Any types of frequent or random changes to their schedule will not mean they are out dating someone else, they are simply just going with the flow. If you can let yourself flow with them you will end up with a lot of stories to tell.

Bouts Of Depression

This type of high also comes with a low. A social butterfly or serial cheater will both have depression but a social butterfly cause for depression is because they are always changing themselves and what they do, it can leave them with a feeling of wondering who they really are, give them time to figure it out on their own. Its not there first time going through this self-reflection, just give it some space and let them organize their thoughts. A serial cheater will be depressed because of lies and deception, this is a totally different vibe. If you are really concerned about the depression, you can ask them what they need from you for help.

Adventurist

Social butterflies tend to always be looking for the next adventure, if you feel neglected because they are always planning trips with friends or family instead of one on one dates it’s not because they don’t want alone time with you, they just think its more fun to do all the adventures they love together. Adventures with a social butterfly will usually include you in the mix, a serial cheater will make plans for solo adventures but they will tell you they are going for a night out with the friends when they are really having a night out with one other person.

 A Busy Schedule

These types of people will always be busy. Before they met you and while you are in a relationship they will keep busy and that should be consistent. They generally wake up early and go to bed late, if you want a date night with this type of person its best to plan ahead, they should be attempting to book date nights with you as well. Don’t worry if they are always meeting friends for a coffee, it doesn’t mean they are dating someone else but if they keep these friends secret, that could be a red flag.

Very Attractive

Social Butterflies are generally very attractive people, either by their personality, physically or both. Don’t be alarmed if they have a lot of friends and a lot of people are requesting to spend time with them. Don’t take it personally or get jealous, let them have their friends. They might even get hit on fairly often, if they are only dating you they will continually show you and let everyone know it. If you really are not sure how they act when they are hit on, as a last resort you could ask a friend who they don’t know to approach them and ask them out on a date, this could be a true test.

Serial Cheater

No Deep Conversations

After a few dates, you may attempt to talk about what you are looking for in a partner and long term plans. A serial cheater will do their best at being vague and letting you assume what they want and that they know what you want. The idea with being vague is to not make any specific commitments to you or any promises, that way if they decide to leave or not be committed to you there is no blowback. This allows a level of deniability if they were ever caught dating someone else because they could always say “we didn’t make that promise to be monogamous”.

Smooth Talker

A serial cheater has had a lot of practice conversing, so do social butterflies but the main difference will be on the first few dates. Most people will be a little shy on a first date, even a confident social butterfly could be a little awkward. If your first date seems to smooth to be true, they probably are. A smooth talker might have had just too much practice for your liking, be straight up and ask them if they go on dates frequently and see how they respond.

Private vs Secret

There is a boundary between being open about your personal life and keeping something secret. Someone your dating should allow you to go on their phone, call your friend or parent if your phone is dead or let you scroll on TikTok. Some valid excuses for example, if they work in law or their phone content is confidential because there are medical clients on it that would be fair, but 95% of the people out there won’t have a reason why their phone is off-limits. If your not sure about this new person but really interested in them you could run a background check and see if they have been telling lies.

Cheated In Previous Relationships

This is not a deal-breaker, because a lot of good people cheat and a lot of relationships have rough patches. The deal-breaker is, what have they done to ensure this pattern does not continue in the next relationship? Have they had relationship therapy sessions? Read any personal development books? If they have not done any work on themselves, or talk about it not being a big deal and blame the cheating on their previous partner, it’s likely they don’t see their own actions being a problem and it might have not been just one time they cheated in the past.

-Social butterfly or serial cheater? If you are dating someone new, its a little more difficult to tell but these key points do show the differences. A new dater could be a serial cheater and serial dater. In a long term relationship, a serial cheater is hard to tell if you’re blinded by love. Seek a counsellor yourself, learn about your own self worth and stand up for what you really want. Happy loving!