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Cheating & Infidelity

5 Most Common Causes Of Cheating In Relationships

cheating in relationships

What causes cheating in relationships to happen? Sometimes the answers still leave questions the same as the chicken or egg scenario, which came first? What causes cheating in relationships to happen? Was it the lack of love first or the attraction to someone else? We cannot say exactly which comes first but do know that when a relationship starts to break down these are the 5 most common causes of cheating in relationships.

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There is no easier way to find a person cheating in a relationship than catching them looking online. The internet has a ridiculous amount of websites that will help people cheat, and not only do they help people cheat they even market to people who are struggling in their relationship yet never thought of cheating. Think of this marketing line from Ashley Madison – “Life is Short. Have an Affair®.”

The online world is a scary place for couples who are struggling, it’s okay to check the search history in your computer, if it’s empty then they probably deleted the history. The question is why are they deleting the search history? Let them know you’re not worried about porn (even if you do not agree) this helps them open up without feeling judged. Cheating in relationships can even start with porn.

2.Escort Services

Unfortunately, escort services are on the rise. This makes it all too easy for anyone with money to think they are being classy about cheating. No matter what, cheating is not classy. Escort services are easy to access and discrete. If you think your partner might be using this service, a spy phone app might be your best option to find out if they are or not. A relationship might start to break down if intimacy within the relationship seems to be a problem, or if one of you feels that this part of the relationship is lacking then you will want to have a discussion asking them if they are looking elsewhere.

3.Social Media

Access to your past through social media is very accessible to anyone. The Facebook algorithms will sometimes connect you with old high school friends or ex-partners. Facebook is well known to be a contributing factor to one-third of all divorces. This number is increasing every year as the popularity of social media increases and relationship stability declines through the new age thinking of “be free” “be happy” “focus on yourself”.

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The online fantasy pulls people online by making them think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. They find old flirts or previous partners, connect through messenger, a couple of clicks and words and boom they think they have reconnected. Next thing you know they are planning a “coffee”.


Drug and alcohol addiction runs in the same part of the brain as sex addiction. If you or your partner have an addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling or any substance or habit then this could also trigger an addiction to sex. Addictive personalities are personified by needing an excess, a habitual and insistent need for more. This could be displayed as a daily addiction or a weekend binger. Not all addicts are daily, some are able to hold off until the weekend, but every weekend is the same.

Sometimes the very act of cheating can become addictive, if you know your partner has a past with cheating in relationships then you should ask them how many times. If it was more than once then there might be a problem, it’s called a serial cheater. Again, it’s an addictive personality that is brought on by childhood stress. The only way to resolve this issue is with consistent therapy.

5.Feeling Undervalued

Therapists would be like a record on repeat if they told you how many times this comes up in couples therapy. Cheating in relationships often happens because one of the people in the relationship feels undervalued. The worst part is that often they are not actually undervalued, the other person just didn’t know how to show their appreciation in a way that their partner would recognize. You would think that constantly saying thank you or doing chores to pull your weight would work, according to the 5 love languages you can be showing love and appreciation the way you were taught and your partner wouldn’t even notice it.

If more people could adopt a servant’s mindset, stop being so selfish and started focusing on giving more to their partners than worrying about what they receive then couples would stay together longer.

-Unconditional love is supposed to be the foundation of a long-standing relationship however, it’s not always the case. People are always focusing on what they get, what they want, and if it’s working for them or not. Cheating in relationships can often start with that type of selfish character. Think about the personality and character of our own partner, do they often think about themselves? If they do, this doesn’t immediately imply their cheating, however it does show that some character-building might need to occur if you both want to live a healthy and happy life together.

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