The 10 Signs of Cheating

Everything seemed perfect and normal; we were both happy with each other. Just when I thought nothing could go wrong, I discovered that he was cheating on me the whole time. 

You may heard these lines in your social circle, making you wonder if you’ve missed some telltale signs, trusting your partner too much. You’re not alone. According to a LinkedIn study, nearly half (44%) of people in monogamous relationships cheat.

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Cheating always begins in secrecy, with the cheater being extra careful not to leave any signs that might reveal their secret to their partner. However, no matter how hard the cheater tries, their body language starts showing signs that can be easily spotted if their partner pays extra attention.

There are many signs of cheating but after our research we have found these 10 Signs of Cheating have been true all across the board. Knowing these 10 signs will show you what to look for and how to find out if they are cheating.

signs of cheating

1. Changes in Intimacy Patterns

We all remember the “honeymoon” stage to our relationships where things are fresh, fun, and flirty. Of course, there is a reasonable amount of that intimacy that can sometimes fade but it should never be lost altogether. 

Perhaps you used to hold hands in the car but now you are left staring out the window. Bedtime snuggles that used to be intimate and passionate may have become non-existent. If your desires are still there but your partner seems cold and uninterested, this could be one of the 10 signs of cheating. When people are receiving intimacy from another person, they tend to lack intimacy with their primary partner due to feelings of guilt.

However, there were instances where the roles were reversed. If your partner’s desire unexpectedly increases, it can also mean he’s finding satisfaction for his sex requirements elsewhere. 

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According to certain research, having sex boosts testosterone levels, which are known to play a significant role in influencing men’s sexual behaviour. So if your partner was not sexually active in the past and then suddenly starts suggesting something different or wanting to experiment with new things, it means that something is not right.

Signs You need to Look out For in this situation:

  •  Lack of mirroring each other’s actions, indicating emotional disconnection.
    Increased nervous behaviors like fidgeting, tapping fingers or shifting positions.
  • Frequently avoiding eye contact or looking away when discussing the relationship.
  • Crossed arms, legs pointing away, body turned away during conversations.
  • Avoidance of holding hands, hugging, or sitting close.
  • Making excuses to avoid close or intimate moments.
  • Unexpected increase or decrease in sexual activity; new experimentation not previously shown.
  •  Disinterest or distraction during shared activities; reduced laughter and playful interactions.
signs of cheating

2. Secretive With Their Devices

Is your partner hiding passwords and locking devices when it’s not necessary? This is one of the most common signs of cheating. According to the recent stats, One out of Ten individuals confess that they have kept messages and posts from their partner hidden. 8% adults admit to use hidden social media accounts

If your partner does not have a good reason for why their phone is locked all the time, you could use a spy phone app to help you understand why. It is not unreasonable for devices to be locked for security reasons, but you must understand that the device is locked to prevent you from viewing whats locked inside.

 Now, more than ever, it is easy to find a connection online. With many dating websites and singles apps, it’s inevitable that people are caught cheating online every single day.

Signs You need to Look out For in this situation:

  • If your partner is constantly checking their phone or other devices, especially in a secretive manner, it may indicate they are hiding something.
  • Notice if your partner frequently turns their device screen away from you when you are nearby.
  • Pay attention to any signs of nervousness or anxiety when their device is around you, such as quick glances, fidgeting, or protective gestures.
  • Look for changes in their behavior, such as suddenly taking their phone with them everywhere, even to places where they previously left it unattended.
  • If your partner becomes unusually protective of their devices, such as placing them face down, using passwords when they didn’t before, or reacting defensively when you ask to use their device, it might be a red flag.
signs of cheating

3. Defensive Demeanor

If you were to nicely inquire to your partner about where they were or what they are texting about and they react with a defensive demeanor this is a really big red flag. 

Obviously it’s not something you ask inquisitively asking all the time. It would become annoying if it seems like you are always wondering exactly what they are doing but anyone defensive in that manner is sure to be hiding something. 

Being defensive can be carried with emotions of anger and anxiousness. Conversation explanations tend to be long and over drawn.

Signs you need to Look Out For:

  •  If your partner avoids making eye contact while responding, it might suggest they are hiding something or feel guilty about the subject being discussed.
  • A sudden change to a louder or more aggressive tone can be a defensive reaction to feeling threatened or accused, often used to deflect the question.
  • Providing overly detailed and extended explanations can be a sign that the person is trying too hard to justify their actions, which might indicate they are hiding the truth.
  • Excessive fidgeting, such as tapping fingers, playing with objects, or shifting in their seat.
signs of cheating

4. Unexplained Expenditures

Typically when your in a relationship with someone, you have a general idea of their spending habits. Recent statistical report revealed that More than 1 in 4 (29%) young people have discovered that their partner had made a big financial purchase without telling them.

If your partner is cheating, you may see a change in their financial stability or perhaps find some unexplained charges to their credit card. Knowing how to ask your partner about this without being accusatory can be hard to navigate. This can be easy to detect if you have a shared bank account but rather hard to notice if they manage their own finances.

Signs You Need to Look Out For 

  • Noticeable shifts in your partner’s financial situation without clear explanations.
  • Discovering unfamiliar charges on their credit card statements.
  • avoiding discussions about money or refusing to share financial details they previously were open about.
  • Finding hidden or discarded receipts and bills for purchases or services that you were unaware of, suggesting they are hiding expenditures from you.

5. Surprising Schedule Changes

Is your partner having frequently extended business trips? Always having to stay late at work? Random traffic jams? Battery dead in the car? these are all signs to be aware of.

 If your partner has a regular schedule that has been the same for years and sudden changes in schedule or constant time blocks are missing with odd excuses, this is cause for questions.

Signs You Need to Look Out For 

  • Sudden increase in business trips that were not a part of their regular routine
  • If your partner frequently claims they need to stay late at work, especially if this is a new behavior, it could be a sign of concern.
  • Repeated issues like a dead car battery or similar car problems that prevent timely returns can be an excuse to cover up something else.
  • Unusual and inconsistent explanations for missing chunks of time can indicate that something is being hidden.
signs of cheating

6. Sudden Improvement in Appearance

We all like to take pride in our appearance and look nice on special occasions but an obsessive desire to look their best all the time may be one of the signs of cheating. Recognize their regular habits and watch for a deviation from this. 

Are they bringing a change of clothes to work? A fresh shower and shave every time they leave the house? While these habits can be perfectly normal and routine for some, they could be a sign of your partner cheating.

Signs You Need to Look Out For 

  • An obsessive desire to always look their best, even when not warranted by the occasion.
  • Paying extra attention to small details in their appearance, such as wearing new or special clothing frequently.
  • your partner adopts new habits without a clear reason, such as changing their personal hygiene routines.
  • Bringing a change of clothes to work unexpectedly or always looking their best before leaving the house.

7. Conflict Avoidance

If you ask your partner about cheating, a non-cheater with a whole heart would be concerned that you are asking if they are cheating. They will want to ask you questions about why you are concerned and help ease your mind to bring a resolution and heal the matter. 

Someone who is cheating will avoid the conversation, and show a lack of interest in you and the topic. Usually, its because they do not want to change their life style, keep on keeping on and just hope it all goes away. Conflict avoidance keeps conversations very short and overly sensitive.

Signs You Need to Look Out For 

  • Keep conversations very brief, especially when the topic is uncomfortable or incriminating.
  • If your partner reacts with excessive sensitivity or defensiveness when you bring up concerns.
  • Your partner shows no desire to change or address the underlying issues, hoping the problem will disappear on its own.
  • May exhibit a general lack of interest in discussing or resolving relationship problems.
signs of cheating

8. Secret Friendships

When you are in a relationship, you both know each other’s friends and family circle and are often invited by them to parties and functions. Recently, you start noticing that your partner mentions a friend frequently whom you don’t know, and their eyes light up when mentioning them. 

When you inquire about this new friend or express a desire to meet them, your partner suddenly changes the topic or says that you will not find them interesting or that they are too busy to meet you. You often find your partner talking to them or replying to their messages even when you both are having intimate moments. 

Recent statistics might shock you; according to these statistics, 43 percent of people have cheated with someone they would label a, “friend. This might be a sign for you to be extra careful; sometimes a friendship that seems innocent and harmless at the start can develop into a serious relationship.

Signs You Need to Look Out For 

  • Your partner begins to change their routine, spending more time away from home or having unexplained absences that coincide with interactions with this friend.
  • Your partner gives inconsistent or vague details about their interactions with this friend, raising suspicion.
  • When you express interest in meeting this new friend, your partner changes the subject or gives excuses.
signs of cheating

9. Loss of Interest

At the start of the relationship, you and your partner enjoyed every moment together, like going out for movies or lunch. Despite his busy schedule, your partner still managed to take you out on dinners or romantic date nights. 

He surprised you with small gifts that simply made you fall in love with him all over again. But then everything suddenly stopped, and you were unable to find any explanation. When asked, he made excuses about being busy at work or stressed. 

However, these excuses don’t justify his emotional unavailability. This is a major sign of cheating, as your partner is finding you uninteresting and unworthy of their time and energy. So if you are having those feelings lately, then it’s time to act on your gut feeling.

Signs You Need to Look Out For,

  • Your partner no longer makes an effort to spend quality time together.
  • Your partner frequently uses excuses like being busy or stressed to justify their actions. 
  • Your partner communicates less frequently and with less enthusiasm than before. 
  • Your partner displays uncharacteristic mood swings or irritability, often over minor issues.
  • Your partner becomes more secretive about their phone, social media, or personal activities.

10. You are the Problem

The main sign of a cheater is that they put the blame on you to clear their guilt. Even when you ask them about other things, they start accusing you of being crazy or stupid. Sometimes they play with your emotions and gaslight you, making you question your own behavior. 

This is the biggest red flag to notice in a cheater. To try to reduce their inner tension, they may try to justify their cheating by convincing themselves that you’re the problem. This can come out as being hypercritical of you out of nowhere.

Signs You Need to Look Out For,

  • They become overly critical of you without any clear reason.
  • They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and constantly deflect blame.
  • They play with your emotions and make you doubt your own actions and feelings.
  • They make you question your perception of reality, often denying things that have happened.
  •  When you ask about their behavior, they accuse you of being crazy or overly suspicious.
signs of cheating

What to Do if Your Partner Exhibits All These Signs

Realistically, these signs don’t always mean your partner is cheating. Before jumping to conclusions, be extra careful and consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member of your partner to ensure there aren’t other issues at play. 

If it turns out your suspicions are valid, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to end the relationship you’ve worked so hard to build. According to a five-year case study, 60–80% of couples who underwent counseling after infidelity were able to reconcile.  How you confront your partner and handle this situation plays a crucial role in your relationship, as a wrong step can ruin years of what you’ve built together. 

Here are a few suggestions on how to handle the situation once you discover your partner is cheating:

  1.  Avoid reacting impulsively. It’s important to approach the situation with a clear mind.
  2. Before confronting your partner, make sure you have concrete evidence to support your concerns.
  3. Consider the overall health of your relationship and any other potential issues that might be affecting it.
  4. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns to gain an outside perspective.
  5. Think about what you want to say and how to say it. Choose a calm, private setting for the discussion.
  6. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without accusing your partner. For example, “I feel hurt and confused by your recent behavior.”
  7. Allow your partner to explain their side of the story without interrupting them.
  8. Suggest couples counseling as a way to work through the issues together with a professional.
  9. If infidelity is confirmed, decide what boundaries are necessary to rebuild trust and maintain your well-being.
  10. Think about whether your values, goals, and visions for the future align with your partner’s, and if the relationship is sustainable in the long run.

Final Words:

Cheating is a serious offense in a relationship and no one deserves that, if you pay attention to the 10 signs of cheating and catch the cheater, the sooner you can move on and find the one that you really deserve.

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