What To Expect When They Are Cheating On You

We all experience hurt in similar ways however the adapted stages of grief are different for everyone. When someone is cheating on you it can leave you feeling lost and full of scattered emotions. Cheating affects not only the person being cheated on but even friends and family that are close to both of you. We have written out what to expect emotionally, what to do and what you may experience when someone is cheating on you.

Suspicions or Rumors

You may have had suspicions about your partner being flirtatious or even rumors from mutual friends about their cheating past. Often times we are blinded by the love we have for someone and its hard to see the red flags hinting they could be cheating on you. Even more difficult, sometimes there are no red flags at all. Your friends might think they are perfect, but they don’t see life within the home. The arguments and subtleties of an unhappy relationship can lead up to suspicions of your partner looking elsewhere, but you’re in love so this would never happen to you. Everything will work out, just keep living life.

Denial

We usually think about the cheater denying allegations of cheating on you, but self-denial is common and could be an initial response when you hear or start to see proof of your partner cheating. Self-denial is commonly felt with shock. Depending on your relationship, denial and shock could be separated. If you had suspected it, you may not be totally surprised. If you had no clue, the denial would also be mixed with shock. Shock can create sensations such as shortness of breath, pale skin, and an inability to have organized thoughts.

Affirmation

You may have used a private detective, a spy phone app, or had a best friend confirm they physically saw your partner cheating on you or worse you caught them red-handed. Probably the most important step, this is the proof of them cheating on you, the solid fact that it’s been done, either they confessed or you have some sort of evidence. This is when you can finally swallow the facts and begin digesting what happened and what comes next.

Anger

Anger is normal, especially when you accept what has happened. What you do with it can help excel you to where you want to be or it can hold you down. Anger is a great tool to move forward, take action, and motivate you to make a change. Anger can also cause you to lash out, react negatively, and create more pain and dissonance from what actually happened. If you feel filled with anger, do not react, do not make emotional decisions. Lets yourself cool down for a moment, then use the anger as motivation to open up and express to your partner how you feel, what you are going to do, and what you need.

Bargaining

After the emotions have calmed down, you may be telling yourself things are not as bad as they seem. That maybe you can work things out, if this is what happens it could be worth it to connect with a family counselor and actually go through the extensive process of healing the relationship. Just be sure you are not creating excuses for behaviors you think are unacceptable. Most bargaining comes down to fear. Fear of being alone and fear of what happens after the relationship is gone. You need to take your time and think about things as they are. Do not settle for what you don’t really want, you will not like your decision in the future.

Depression and Sadness

This stage can take place during all the other stages, it kind of fluctuates all over the place. If you find yourself diving into abnormal behavior such as unhealthy drinking, hyper-sexuality, spontaneous shopping, or anything you know that is unhealthy and not normal for you these are usually ways we attempt to block out the pain of infidelity. Talk with someone close to you or a trained therapist. Express what’s on your heart and mind, try to empty your cup so you can refill it with the good you deserve. You will need some sort of healthy outlet to express yourself.

Acceptance

This is when you fully acknowledge your partner was cheating on you and the healing stage begins. There is no more denial, you have begun to make decisions on what you want to do. Either staying with the partner and working it out or deciding to move on and letting them go. If you decide to stay with your partner, talking with a counselor as a couple will be necessary to ensure a happy relationship. If you decide to let them go, dig deep and figure out what you really want and don’t settle for whatever comes next. Taking your time is crucial, you don’t want any extra baggage coming into the next relationship.

– After reading this article, you may have a better understanding of the different emotional stages of someone cheating on you. These are also linked to the stages of grief a person goes through with any tragedy. More up to date psychology also shows that the stages of grief are no longer linear, meaning it’s not always 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and so on. You may also experience, 3rd, 1st, 5th, and 6th. Grief is tricky to process, having a positive mindset, working on your self-confidence and focusing on where you are going to and not staying stuck on what you are going through will help get you to where you want to be.