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Why You Should Not Stay Friends With Your Ex

Did you still stay friends with your ex after the breakup? Share your experience with us in the comment section below.

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Abruptly cutting all ties with a person who has meant so much to you for a long period is close to impossible. You still have feelings towards them and question whether you can navigate your life without them. For this reason, many people, even after ending things with their ex, still prefer staying friends with them. However, this is always a bad idea, especially when you are in a new relationship. Even when you have not moved on and are trying to heal, you should not stay friends with your ex.

Here are reasons why staying friends with your ex is always a bad idea.

You will hardly move on.

stay friends with your ex
Source: Every Nation Campus

If you keep the friendship with your ex, you will not break your feelings towards them. Since you have broken up, mixed feelings will run high and make it more difficult for you to move on. 

After a breakup, usually, you need some time alone to heal and get rid of the feelings. Allow yourself this time to reflect on the breakup and understand what’s happening without involving your ex. If you don’t give yourself the alone time and entertain their efforts to get you back, you will go back to square one and risk getting hurt twice by the same person.

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You may experience an on and off relationship with them.

stay friends with your ex

Only one word can describe the on and off type of relationship: hurtful. No one wants to be in such a relationship, where your feelings seem to be controlled with a switch. They get hurt on and off, all the time. No one deserves to go through this pain.  The fact that you are still attracted to each other and still welcome the idea of friendship with your ex will lead to this kind of relationship with them. 

Besides, it talks about one of you. Either you are unsure of the decision you made, or you just can’t be bold in your decisions. But ask yourself this question. Why did you break up in the first place? Anyone who wants to stay with you will never want to break up with you. Instead, they will try and work things out with you.

Hanging out with them will be painful.

Now that you have decided to remain friends after the breakup, what if they move on and find another partner? Can you still hang around with your ex as a partner? It’s always painful to see them being romantic to someone else. 

Let’s face it; it’s hard to see your ex moving on faster and doing better even after hurting you. It’s painful to see them happy when all you wanted for them is to face the consequences of hurting your feelings. Why go through this pain when you can avoid it altogether by ending everything and avoid being friends with them?

There is no good reason to stay friends.

Fact. There is no good reason to stay friends with your ex. You are sure you will never date them. You are sure there will be no romantic progress with them. Unless you have kids that should give you a reason to stay friends, nothing else counts as important. 

Remaining friends with your ex will only bring the issues back again and risk getting hurt over and over.

It will block your advancements to the idea of new relationships.

Staying friends with your ex will not only block you from moving on to a new relationship, but it will also cause issues with your new partner. Usually, people assume that breaking up with your ex means cutting all the ties. Imagine being visited by your ex or going out for lunch with them. No partner will take that lightly. It’s always safe to end things up and never entertain someone you will never be with them again.

Imagine having to give explanations to your partner on why you are spending time with your partner. The whole thing is weird, and any person can think you are cheating behind their back. After all, why still want to spend time with them when there’s nothing in common apart from the feelings?

They broke your heart.

This one should be straightforward. You can’t be friends with someone who betrayed all your feelings and every promise that you shared. Someone that shattered your hopes for a beautiful future with them. Now with everything certain that the future will not be the same again, or maybe they will not be there with you as you envisioned, you should just accept the fact and move on. Instead of spending time with such a person, you should rather spend time with friends. Your ex is your ex for a reason. Never forget the reason.

You know each other much better.

Since you were a couple and spent most of your time together, you probably know their flaws and everything crazy about them. Knowing them very well means you can’t just be friends. Usually, you may find yourself falling back in the same pit. 

Besides, you will not share what friends share. The advice you give each other will be biased and different. This can cause one of you to sabotage another person’s life because of the feelings they still have.

You may find yourself cheating in your new relationship.

It’s always easier to fall to the temptation of cheating with your ex than cheating with another person. They know your soft spots and how to trigger you when they want you. If you stay friends with your ex, any opportunity that arises to share the intimacy again will often be maximized. If you are in another relationship, you will be untrue to your partner, another innocent soul that wants to be loved and not be part of the triangle.


Breaking up but trying to stay friends with your ex is one of the most difficult things to do. You will just struggle to keep the friendship along. The temptations will just be too much, and it will not be good for your new relationship. Try to move on and cut everything with them if you want to heal completely.

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