Why Do Married Couples Cheat?

People who cheat will say that it’s wrong, even though they know it’s wrong up to 40% of married couples cheat. The stats are well known that people cheat but why do they cheat? Deep frustration after attempting to fix problems within the marriage but having no results is a frequent trigger for cheating in a marriage. Married couples cheat for a variety of reasons, from childhood baggage and addictions to personality disorders and social media attention. Let’s cover the top reasons why married couples cheat, but keep in mind this is no valid or justified reason for cheating. It is the cheater’s responsibility for their actions and hurts that follow.

MEN

The reasons why married couples cheat can be different between the genders. Men and women both can have the same reasons but there will be a difference in the majority. As you can probably guess by stereotyping, men will be more likely to cheat if they are frequently turned down for sex. This lack of sex translates to a man that “I don’t love you” or “I don’t find you attractive”. It’s the insecurity of rejection that makes men feel less than. Even if the woman is honestly busy or just not in the mood but they love their partner and show them in different ways it can still lead a man to think they need sexual release elsewhere.

A study in 2018 showed that men who expressed signs of narcissism were more likely to cheat. Men on average have more narcissistic tendencies. These types of men have lower sexual empathy, they exaggerate their own sense of sexual ability and they think they are sexually entitled to anyone they want.

WOMEN

Women that are married are more likely to cheat for different reasons. If they feel undervalued, ignored or underappreciated it can leave an emotional void in them. This is not to say women do not value a quality sex life, but they will put emotions and respect first. Women will not only cheat with someone who provides physical intimacy but they are mostly looking for a partner who can provide emotional intimacy as well.

Women will also cheat when they feel like they want out of their current relationship, they are looking for a way out but they do not want to be alone. Sometimes this way of thinking is even unconscious. What they are really doing is looking for a transitional partner. This is a way out of the relationship that will have someone by her side to help her get out. It’s also a back door excuse of, I didn’t just cheat on you but “I met someone else who gives me what you cannot”.

Specific Reasons Why Married Couples Cheat

Specific reasons why married couples cheat are a list of issues within a relationship that will significantly increase the risk of cheating or if they are not dealt with will increase the end of the marriage.

-Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: Unhappiness usually occurs when a couple is not satisfied with some part of the relationship.
-Revenge: If one partner has hurt the other in some way, a partner may resort to cheating as a way to infidelity.
-Unappreciated: Feeling neglected is common and can lead to not valuing the relationship. An affair may be an attempt to created importance.

Contributing Factors Why Married Couples Cheat

Contributing factors does not mean that this is why people cheat, but it shows that anyone with these issues are at an increased risk of infidelity within the relationship.

-Domestic violence and emotional abuse
-Emotionally disconnected
-Financial Stress
-Bad communication
-Married for wrong reasons

-Internet: The ease of access to new people through the internet is at an all time high. From escort websites to social media, anyone can meet people easily. Emotional affairs are more common through the internet, and discretion is easily attainable.

-Absense: If one person is away frequently, then the gap of time creates opportunites for the other person to cheat.

-Lack of boundaries: If you have a hard time saying no, or drawing a line in what you want and dont want then you might either find yourself in an affair or you might not be clear enough to your partner that you want a monogamous relationship.

-Pornography: Often referred to as a gateway to physical infidelity, pornography could be a risk factor if it has been discussed within the relationship as not allowed and the partner is breaking trust by watching it behind closed doors. If its allowed, then its between the couple to acknowledge it as acceptable. If there has been an addiction issue with that person in the past, then that could be a concern as it has been showing to be addictive to both men and women.

-Married couples cheat for a variety of reasons, but these concepts are where it all starts. It takes time for a marriage to fall apart, it will also take time to piece it back together. If infidelity occurs copying with it can be a struggle, but healing from it is possible and happens. Make sure you ask for help before you get to the point where you are struggling. All to often we put ourselves in the background and focus on everyone else. Its time for you, to stand strong. A stronger you has more capability of helping other people.