When we were young, we used to have dinner table talks and spend weekend nights with our parents and grandparents, playing games and sharing everything that happened to us at school and with our friends. Now, the internet, which has changed so many aspects of our lives, has also changed the way we communicate with our children.
As parents, we are so busy with our work lives that we often forget to take time to talk to our children. Now, with gadgets and the latest apps, they turn to the internet in search of someone with whom they can talk about anything they want, someone who will listen to them and give them attention.
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A 2019 survey of almost 4,000 children found that 43% of children aged 8–13 talk to people they don’t know online. As parents, we can control whom our children communicate with in real life but are often unable to control who they talk to in the digital world.
Thanks to modern technology, which can turn any game or app into a chat room, it’s difficult to monitor every person our kids interact with. Some people (not a person, but a predator) take advantage of this vulnerability, seeking easy targets to sexually abuse children, a crime now referred to as “online grooming.”
According to one of the most recent studies, an estimated 500,000 online predators are active every day, searching for vulnerable targets. As parents, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs and prevention strategies to keep your child safe. In this blog, we will discuss these warning signs and how to prevent online grooming, ensuring you can help protect your child.

What is Online Grooming:
When we were kids, our parents taught us about good touch and bad touch, helping us understand when something didn’t feel right. Grooming is a little different. Instead of doing something bad right away, predators take their time to build trust with a child. They make the child feel safe, so the child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. According to FBI, an estimated 89 percent of sexual advances directed at children occur in Internet chatrooms or through instant messaging.
Predators look for ways to connect with a child’s feelings, especially if the child feels insecure or lonely. They offer attention and praise, making the child feel special and slowly gaining their trust. Once this bond is formed, it creates opportunities for the predator to take advantage of the child.
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These days, predators are moving online, using game chat rooms and social media apps where kids spend their time. They search for children who want someone to talk to and then build an emotional connection with them. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s 2023 Global Threat Assessment shows a shocking 87% rise in child sexual abuse materials since 2019.
With online grooming crimes rising by more than 80% in the last four years, as a parent, it’s so important to understand these tactics so we can keep our children safe and protect them from hidden dangers online.
Here are some common types of approaches the predators use to win the trust of the victim:
1. Creating Relationships
The first step in grooming is for the predator to build a relationship with their target. They aim to create a bond, making the victim feel special, understood, or cared for. This relationship is built slowly and intentionally as the predator works to gain the victim’s trust before moving to more harmful behaviors. By appearing friendly and supportive, the predator sets up a foundation for future manipulation.
- They pretend to share common interests or hobbies.
- Compliment or flatter the victim to make them feel special.
- Offer emotional support, especially if the person feels lonely or misunderstood.
- Slowly become a “best friend” by always being available for the victim.
- They may act like a mentor or protector, making the victim feel safe around them.
2. Experimenting Boundaries
Once trust is established, the predator will begin testing the victim’s boundaries to see how far they can go. This can involve small steps that seem innocent at first but gradually escalate into more inappropriate behavior. The predator may use playful tactics or harmless jokes to make these boundary tests feel less threatening. Their goal is to slowly lower the victim’s defenses without raising suspicion.
- Ask personal questions to learn about the victim’s vulnerabilities.
- Give gifts or favors to make the victim feel like they owe something in return.
- Introduce slightly inappropriate topics to see how the victim reacts.
- Push for small rules to be broken, like talking late at night or sharing secrets.
- Use jokes or playful behavior to make crossing boundaries seem harmless.
3. Intimidation
As the predator gains more control, they may start using intimidation to keep the victim silent. This can include threats, guilt, or manipulation to make the victim feel trapped. The predator may convince the victim that they will face consequences if they speak out or that no one will believe them. Intimidation is a powerful way for the predator to maintain dominance over the victim and avoid getting caught.
- Threaten to expose private information or conversations.
- Warn the victim that no one will believe them if they speak up.
- Suggest that the victim will get in trouble if they report the predator’s actions.
- Use guilt to make the victim feel responsible for the relationship.
- Imply harm will come to the victim or their loved ones if they resist.
4. Sharing Sexually Explicit Material
A common tactic predators use is introducing sexually explicit material. They may share inappropriate images or videos as a way to desensitize the victim and normalize sexual content. Nowadays, sharing nudes becoming a new normal, even for kids. You will be surprised to know that in one of the surveys, About 40%, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys, find it normal to share nudes.
This is often done gradually, starting with less explicit material and escalating over time. The predator may also pressure the victim into sharing their own explicit photos or videos, creating a dangerous cycle of shame and control. One of the reports of the FBI mentioned that, In over a quarter of all reported exploitation incidents, the online predator will ask a child for sexually explicit photos of themselves.
- They might send images or videos and claim it’s normal or “educational.”
- Slowly introduce more explicit content over time.
- Ask the victim to send pictures or videos in return.
- Make the victim feel ashamed or embarrassed to share the material with anyone else.
- They may claim that sharing these images or videos proves the victim “trusts” them.
5. Secret Communication
Predators often push for secret communication to ensure that the grooming process stays hidden. They encourage the victim to hide their conversations from family and friends, isolating them from potential support. According to Thorn, 1 in 4 participants reported being sextorted before the age of 13. By using private channels and codes, the predator creates an atmosphere of secrecy, which makes it harder for the victim to break free or ask for help. This hidden communication strengthens the predator’s control over the victim.
- Ask the victim to keep their conversations hidden from family or friends.
- Use private messaging apps or online platforms that are hard to trace.
- Create secret codes or nicknames to make the communication feel exclusive.
- Warn the victim that revealing the communication will ruin their relationship.
- Make the victim feel like they are part of a special or private world, separate from their real life.

Warning Signs of Online Grooming
As parents, we know that we can interpret every facial expression our child shows. We can tell when they feel sad or happy, even if they’re not saying anything. Therefore, it’s important to pay attention to their behavior and body language; this way, you can easily spot if something unusual is happening.
In a recent report about grooming on Thorn, it was discovered that nearly half of all kids online (40%) had been approached by someone who they thought was attempting to “befriend and manipulate” them. Your child is exposed to these dangers on a daily basis.
As a parent, you should be aware of behaviors that could signal your child is being groomed online. Here are some things to watch for:
- Your child may start hiding their online activity from you.
- They might quickly close a browser window or app when you walk into the room.
- If they suddenly seem protective of their phone, tablet, or computer, this could be a red flag.
- Be cautious if your child mentions a new “friend” that you don’t know about, especially someone they’ve only met online.
- Groomers often tell kids to keep their relationship a secret, so your child may not tell you much about this person.
- If your child becomes more withdrawn, anxious, or upset after using their devices, this could be a warning sign.
- They may also seem unusually happy or excited after being online if they’ve been manipulated into thinking the groomer is someone special.
- Groomers sometimes send gifts, game credits, or money to children to make them feel special or indebted.
- If your child is receiving things from someone you don’t know, ask questions.
- If your child starts talking about things that seem too mature for their age, especially topics related to sex, this could be a sign they’re being groomed.
- Groomers often try to introduce sexual topics slowly to make the child feel comfortable with inappropriate conversations.

What to Do if You Suspect Your Child is Being Groomed
If you see any signs that your child might be experiencing online grooming, it’s crucial to take action right away. Be very careful in how you approach the situation, as one wrong move could affect your child’s mental and physical safety. National Statistics on Child Abuse report that an estimated 558,899 children (unique incidents) were victims of abuse and neglect in 2022, the most recent year for which there is national data. That’s 8 children out of every thousand.
Just like other forms of child abuse, online grooming can really harm a child’s well-being. Your support and understanding are vital in helping your child feel safe and protected.
It can be distressing to think your child might be groomed online, and it’s important to act quickly.
- Your first reaction might be panic or anger but try to stay calm. It’s important that your child feels they can talk to you without being punished.
- Let them know they are not in trouble and that you’re there to help them.
- Take screenshots of conversations, photos, videos, or any other material related to the grooming.
- Write down key details, such as usernames, websites or apps involved, and any specific threats or requests made by the offender.
- If you believe your child is at immediate risk, call 999.
- For non-emergency situations where you think a crime has been committed, call 101.
- Report online grooming to the Child Exploitation and Online Protection service (CEOP), a division of the National Crime Agency.
- Contact your local police department. Provide them with all the evidence and details you have gathered.
- The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) investigates cases of child exploitation and online grooming. You can file a report through their Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) or contact a local FBI office.
- National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC): NCMEC’s CyberTipline is a national resource for reporting child sexual exploitation, including online grooming.
- Report the offender to the platform where the grooming occurred (e.g., Facebook, Instagram, TikTok). Most platforms have a reporting system for inappropriate behavior, harassment, and grooming.
- If the grooming happened on a gaming platform or chat service, report it through their specific reporting tools.
- Non-profits like the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD) or RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) offer resources and support for victims and their families.

Prevention Strategies for Parents:
As parents, the best gifts we can give our children are our time and love. When your child knows they are cherished and that their parents are their biggest supporters, they’re less likely to seek out new adult friends online. Try to carve out time in your daily schedule for family talks, just like your parents did with you when you were growing up. According to researchgate.net, 5.4% of adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17 experience online grooming.
Teach your children how to steer clear of strangers in chat rooms and online gaming platforms. At the same time, implement some solid strategies to keep them safe from these risks.
While the risks are real, there are many ways you can protect your child from online grooming. Here are some practical strategies:
- Have open conversations about the dangers of talking to strangers online.
- Explain that not everyone is who they claim to be online and that they should never share personal information (like their name, address, or school) with people they meet on the internet.
- Encourage them to come to you if they ever feel uncomfortable or unsure about someone they’ve met online.
- Establish guidelines for what apps, games, and websites your child is allowed to use.
- Set time limits for how long they can be online and make sure they use devices in common areas of the house where you can monitor them.
- Most devices, apps, and internet services offer parental controls apps that allow you to block certain content and monitor your child’s activity.
- You can also use software to track who your child is talking to and set filters for inappropriate content.
- Encourage your child to only communicate online with people they know in real life, like friends or family.
- Be aware of their online “friends” and check in regularly about who they are talking to and how they met them.
- Keep an eye on your child’s social media accounts, the games they play, and the apps they use.
- Some platforms, especially social media apps, have direct messaging features that can be used by strangers to contact your child.
- Stay informed about the latest apps, games, and online trends your child is interested in. This will help you better understand the potential risks and how to protect them.
- There are many online resources and guides specifically for parents that can help you learn about the latest digital threats.

Here is the table of Best Parent Control Apps available online,
Brand | Rating | Key Features | Paid/Free |
---|---|---|---|
Aura Parental Control | Great | Filter, block, and monitor websites and apps; set screen time limits; covers unlimited kids/devices; 60-day money-back guarantee; 24/7 U.S.-based customer support. | Paid |
Qustodio | Good | School plans available; filter content & apps; set time limits; locate family members; track calls and SMS for Android & iOS. | Paid |
Bark | Fair | Well-known brand; Bark Phone handset available; over 6 million children covered; monitor, manage and filter websites & apps; setup location alerts. | Paid |
Net Nanny Parent Control | Good | Social media protection and controls; YouTube reporting and protection; geofencing; instant reporting of online searches; real-time alerts on explicit content; 14-day money-back guarantee. | Paid |
FamilyTime Parental Control | Good | YouTube & TikTok monitoring; app blocker; instant alerts for explicit content; limit screen time; advanced location tracking; 24/7 live chat. | Paid |
Boomerang Parental Control | Good | Scheduled downtime periods; daily app time limits; encourage educational apps; text message & phone call monitoring; check YouTube history & searches; 24/7 location tracking. | Paid |
Canopy Parent Control | Good | Block every explicit site; filter specific content within websites; anti-tampering features; URL & app blocking; multi-device compatibility; 7-day free trial. | Paid (Free trial) |
Kidslox Parental Control | Good | Individual app blocking; filter bad websites; set daily limits; keep track of location; monitor search history; 3-day free trial. | Paid (Free trial) |
Norton Family Parental Control | Good | Web & time supervision; monitor search history; monthly/weekly reports; instantly lock devices; 24/7 live chat; 60-day money-back guarantee. | Paid |
eyeZy Parental Control | Fair | Snapshots of phone throughout the day; monitor messages & view deleted ones; review photos & videos being sent; full social media access; date & time stamps; 24/7 live chat. | Paid |
Final Words:
Online grooming poses a serious threat to children in today’s digital world. Predators employ various tactics, such as emotional manipulation, deceptive identities, and sexual conversations, to gain trust and exploit vulnerabilities. As parents, it’s crucial to stay informed about these grooming methods and maintain open lines of communication with our children. By fostering a safe and supportive environment, we can empower our kids to recognize warning signs and seek help when needed.
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