How To Repair Your Relationship After You Cheated

You cheated on your partner and now you are both dealing with the aftermath. How do you repair your relationship after cheating? Without carefully disseminating the pain from the love you still have for each other you could be left with a relationship that carries constant tension, distrust and a continual effort to rebuild that goes nowhere. You both decided you want to stay together, but you are going to need some serious direction if you want to make it together and come out happy. Here is what you are going to need to do;

1.Tell The Whole Truth

Yes, it may sting a little however to repair your relationship you need to tell the truth about how it happened and why it happened. Then there will be no questions left for your partner to ask, they won’t feel like anything has been left out. It will be the starting point for the trust to rebuild. Trust is the foundation right above love, love without trust is a trembling heart waiting to break. Tell the truth about everything, especially the little things. The truth about the little things, if you like their new outfit, a new hairstyle or you don’t want the in-laws to sleepover. Your partner will have an easier time trusting you for bigger obstacles.

2.Take Responsibility

To repair your relationship you are going to need to take responsibility for all of your actions, realize that no matter what your partner did or didn’t do that left you feeling like you needed attention somewhere else it was still you who choose to cheat. Not taking responsibility is like driving a car and having it run out of gas and then blaming the car for not having gas in it. Your the driver of the car, its your job to fuel it. Well, your the driver of 50% of your relationship and you need to fuel it with love to keep it going.

3.Educate yourself about affairs and relationships

You need to be engaged not only emotionally with your partner but also intellectually. Bridging the gap between your heart and mind will teach you about yourself and help you realize what your partner really needs to heal the broken pieces in their heart. Self-education about affairs and relationships can surpass your relationship and also help you in other areas of your life as well. The benefits from this can range from healing the bond with your partner to success in your work life and personal happiness. “Healing From The Affair” is a fantastic book to help you mend your partner’s heart, turning you from being the cheater to being the healer in your relationship.

4.Counseling or therapy

Often couples think they can handle it on their own, but what could take years to piece back together on their own could be done a lot faster and most importantly more gently with the right type of counselling or therapy. Therapy would help you with specific goals and what needs to be done to get there. Such as healing sexual addictions or childhood trauma that brings up anger and affects your personal relationship. Counselling would be a “certified counsellour” that you could sit and talk with about your feelings, what you did and they would not judge you. If your curious about a counsellour and want to make sure they are good you can run a background check.

5.Listen To Your Partner

You really need to listen, what we mean by this is that their wants and needs have changed. What your partner is asking for to repair your relationship is different than what you have had with them in the past. To figure out what they need, listen with intent. Do not interrupt, ask them more questions and listen to their response. When they have clearly finished a statement, follow it with a listening statement such as, “I heard what you were saying, let make sure I understand” Then say back to your partner the key points they shared with you. This lets them know you are listening and that you are really putting in the effort.

6.Be Loving and Support Your Partner

Most of all, be loving in every way you can. Support your partner in whatever decision they choose, to be with you and repair the relationship or not. Whether they say they need space to think about things. If they want to go to counselling alone or as a couple. Whatever your partner is asking for, as long as it is in a self-care direction support them in doing so. The support and love you offer to them can help remind them that you are on their side, you made a mistake and are willing to correct the error.

-Never assume the relationship is over after cheating, Its understandable that it can feel like everything is ruined, but don’t assume it. If there is a hint of an idea that you both want to work it out, then it is possible to repair your relationship. Take the necessary steps and put in the work. You were both happy at one point and you can be there again, stronger than ever.