How To Help A Friend That Is Cheating On Their Partner

Do you know how to help a friend that is cheating on their partner? Most of the time, we promise to support our best friends in all things they do. We even promise to be ‘friends forever’ no matter what happens.  While this trust and friendship build on good things, some situations in their lives can cause you a dilemma. Such cases are when you realize they are cheating on their partner. Or they are being cheated on. What do you do? Should you talk to them or keep quiet and maintain your friendship? It is a difficult decision to make.

 You know cheating is wrong and could have severe consequences in any relationship. The next steps you will take will determine whether you save your friend and their relationship or be blamed for the wrong choices you made.

Here is how to help a friend that is cheating on their partner or is being cheated on.

How To Help A Friend That Is Cheating.

A cheater could be your best friend; you could be sharing so much trust with them. But this does not mean that you keep quiet when they commit mistakes. Instead, use the trust to talk to them and see whether they will change. When you realize your friend is cheating, you should have a straightforward approach to dealing with it.

Listen to them

Your friend may have decided to talk to you about their cheating behavior. This means they trust you to hear them out and offer some help, or they just need someone to talk to. Be a good listener and focus on what they are telling you. Knowing the details and how they ended up in this situation will help you make the right steps toward helping them.

Don’t take it personally.

You know how being cheated on feels. Whether you have found out by yourself, or they have told you about it, it still feels the same. The difference is that you are not the one being cheated on. And that is how it should stick. Do not take it personally and keep blaming them.

If you decide to confront them after finding it out by yourself, draw the line, and know how to talk to them. You may blame your friend for not talking to you about it. But they have their reasons. Maybe they just don’t trust you that much. Just know that this is not about you, and they kept it a secret for a reason.

Stay on the right side.

Your decision can be compromised just because they are your friend and you want to stay on their side, even when you know it’s the wrong side. Be honest about it and politely talk to them without ranting at them. Talk about your views on infidelity without sounding judgemental. Avoid speaking in a way that you suggest you approve their actions. 

Find out why they are cheating.

Asking them questions to find out why they started cheating in the first place could help you with advising them and help them make a decision. Your friend could be cheating because she is in an unhappy relationship. They could be cheating because they want to revenge on their partner. Or maybe just because they are tired of “bread alone” every day. Understand that each reason has a different approach to solving their situation.

Avoid giving Exact Solutions.

Your ideas on how to help your cheating friend out of their situation may be great; they may even work out. But if they do not, you will be blamed for giving them. Have them reflect on their feelings and relationship. Make them choose what they want by themselves. Ask them not to rush their decision. Taking time to make a decision will still help them get out of this challenging situation.

Draw the line

Know the right level of involvement in the situation. Take some steps back when you feel you are getting caught up in their drama. You know it’s not about you.  Do not be the center of attention trying to play hero when it comes to other’s relationships. Love is different, they say. You may think that you are helping out, but you are becoming an additional source of stress. Just avoid going too much into it.

What to do when your friend’s partner is cheating

The other situation is when you realize that your friend’s partner is cheating on them. You are now in a dilemma and wonder whether you should approach and talk to them, keep quiet, or break the news to your friend.

A wrong and rush move could end their relationship and maybe your friendship. What do you do now? Keep quiet? You know that may not help.

Know the right approach to talk to your friend

Telling your friend the truth about their partner cheating may sound easy and simple. But there are huge consequences involved if you do not have the right plan. Breaking such information could lead to severe effects on your friend’s love life.

Although telling them may have significant effects on them, it is the right thing to do. To reduce the impact of revealing such information to them, know how you approach them. You understand your friend better and may know how they react to different situations. Choose the best time that you feel they are ready for the news.

Do not confront the cheater (their partner)

You may be angry at your friend’s partner for cheating on such a good person. But letting your emotions get the better of you may lead to more harm than good. Just keep your anger and feelings at bay until you have figured out what you can do. It could be difficult, especially when you see their partner, but confronting them will not do any good.

What’s best for your friend?

While it may be best to tell your friend about the situation, you should consider what they may want you to do. It’s about them, and knowing what they want you to do could determine their future. Always respect what they would wish to before taking the next step.

How will you tell them?

You have already decided that you are going to tell your friend about their partner. But how to say it to them is even crucial. Definitely, they will be affected by the news, and they will run emotionally. Know how you will present the news to them. What you choose depends on how you think they will respond to it. For instance, you can tell them face to face or through a text message. You can even break the news using an anonymous note and now leave the rest to them.

Conclusion

Knowing how to help a friend that is cheating on their partner will help you do the right thing in such situations. It may also help you maintain trust and your friendship if your involvement helps. Our friends need support and advice when things are not going right in their relationship.