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Cheating & Infidelity

How To – Heal Your Self After Being Cheated on

After Being Cheated On

After being cheated on by someone you love, it hurts, a lot. You do have the ability to heal from the betrayal and dishonesty. Through this article, you will be guided on the key points of where to focus your attention. You can heal relatively quickly in a matter of months, or you can ignore your feelings and it can take years. Healing requires you to focus on yourself after being cheated on, do the internal emotional and mental work along with deciding quickly if you want to keep the relationship or let it go and why.

Process The Emotions

When we experience heartbreak, where do we feel it? Certainly not in the head but in the body, in the chest, in the heart. We need to feel it not think it, short bits of feeling at the start are okay but it needs to be felt to be released. After being cheated on you may feel a variety of different emotions, they will not be linear or exactly the same as someone else. You may experience anger, sadness, betrayal, anxiety and/or a variety of other emotions. Allow yourself to process the feelings by being gentle on yourself, giving it time and space. Processing your emotions will allow you to feel free from the hurt in your heart.

Don’t Relive the Past

After being cheated on its very common to wonder what you could have done differently in the relationship or maybe how you ignored the signs of cheating because you couldn’t believe your partner would actually cheat on you. Obsessing over all the moments shared that where good or bad is not beneficial or productive to your healing. Try not to live in the past, or focus too much on what you’re going through, instead focus on where you’re going to and what you want in life. Start a goals list, create a dream board, plan a healing retreat or just enjoy the moment when you’re with friends and loving family.

Don’t Blame Yourself

After being cheated on it’s common to put the blame on yourself, thinking about all the reasons why your partner cheated on you and what you could have done differently to stop it, this is just going to perpetuate the blame and delay healing. Realize that it was their decision to be dishonest and cheat, you are not accountable for their actions and they will have to live with the betrayal, not you. Maybe you did everything you could and that you were capable of to keep the relationship together. If you seem to be stuck, try turning the blame into awareness and talk with a counsellor for positive personal development and become a better version of yourself.

Create Safety Boundaries

If you decided to stay with your partner after being cheated on you will need to state some boundaries to them, this will help you in the healing process and moving forward without emotional weight from the past. Some ideas of boundaries are to not have your partner bring up the infidelity, but only you can on your own terms and when you’re ready to talk about it. Take some physical space, either daily, weekly, or monthly, being constantly in contact with someone you feel a lot of emotion around can make you tense and stressed. Request that the cheater no longer has contact with the cheatee and that you state whether you want to have sex or not.

Ask For Help

After being cheated on it can feel like a lonely road, you may even feel like not telling anyone because it seems embarrassing. Remember this is a time when you need to lean on your friends and family. It is also important to talk with a licensed therapist, if you don’t want to see one in person, you can always talk with one over the phone or via webinar using zoom.

Healing yourself after being cheated on whether you’re still in the relationship or if your not is very similar. Creating boundaries from the cheater, asking for help, processing the emotions and being present are all very important. It will take some time, but being cheated on happens to a lot of people and like them, you will get yourself into a happy and healthy state of being.

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