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Cheating & Infidelity

How Cheating Starts: What Cheaters Do Or Say When They Are About To Cheat

Although most cheaters do everything to hide their tracks from cheating, some things reveal themselves naturally. You can easily know how cheating starts in you your relationship. The behavior change and what your partner does or says can help you figure whether they are about to cheat. 

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While most people enter a relationship with no intention of cheating, the reality is that many relationships face infidelity. If you know the signs of how cheating starts, you can easily avoid getting heartbroken.

Here are some subtle signs that can help you know whether something is about to happen behind your back.

Things Partners Do Before They Cheat

Your partner may try as hard as possible to keep you in the dark when they are about to cheat. But if you are keen enough, these signs may just reveal their secrets to you.

They change their dress code.

Cheaters always want to look smart and impress all the time they go out.  If our partner goes out of their way and tries to look the best all the time, they may not be dressing for you. 

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You can notice them change their style out of the blue, enroll in a fitness class, and get a new hairstyle.

It’s perfect to look smart and dress well all the time. But if you notice this sign along with other signs below, you may need to trust your intuition.


This can manifest itself in two different ways. Some people tend to avoid arguments when they are about to cheat, while others will argue with you more often.

When your partner starts to avoid small arguments that show they care about you, it may be a sign that they are no longer invested in the relationship.

On the other hand, some people will increase arguments with you. They try as much as hard to look for reasons that make them feel less guilty for cheating.  You will notice they criticize more on the issues in your relationship. They want to make you feel like you are not the best for them and you are the reason they are about to cheat.


Micro-cheating is one of the first signs of actual cheating in a relationship. Most cheating begins with emotional cheating. It starts with private messages, meeting up with the person behind your back, spending more time with them, among other signs.

While micro-cheating may not lead to actual cheating, it depends on what you count as cheating in your relationship. To others, micro-cheating is considered cheating. It has the potential of destroying your relationship completely if you let it happen.

They push you for change.

how cheating starts

A person who wants to cheat may try and make you look like the other person they like. If you notice them pushing you too much, it may not mean that they care. They will not say it directly to you, but they will suggest new things to try. 

Being in a relationship is about accepting one another as you are. And there is a difference between supporting e.ach other to change and pushing them to change.

They change their schedule

They are not busy. They are just changing their schedule to fit the other person in. You may notice this if they give excuses like working late but with no explanations. Some may even convince you they have more business trips to attend. They might also change your plans and schedule out of the blue, with excuses. 

If this becomes too much, you need to sit them down and have an honest talk.

Less interested in sex

How cheating starts

If you used to share most of your nights having intimate moments and making love but changes abruptly, it could mean something. Maybe they are getting it somewhere else.

However, you don’t need to jump to conclusions fast. Some healthy relationships can go through such moments where your partner is not much interested in sex. But if this happens longer than usual, take note. 

This is something you need to talk about with them and find out what could be their reason. 

What People Say If They Are About To Cheat

If you hear your partner saying these things, then they are laying a foundation to cheat.

“What would you do if I cheated on you?”

You may be wondering why they would think of saying such a thing when they are not thinking of it. They may be looking for your reaction if they cheat.

“Sorry, I was busy with work today.’’

They can be genuine with this. But if they keep telling you this every time they arrive home late with no good reason, you have reasons to worry.

“It was fine.”

When things are not working out in any relationship, your partner will be willing to share less and less information with you. When you ask them about their day, work, or the party they attended, they just say to you a few things about it and keep quiet. This may show they are getting less interested in the relationship and taking their focus to somewhere else.

“I don’t consider that to be cheating.”

When you notice their change in behavior and micro-cheating signs, they try and validate them as not cheating. Most cheating incidents, however, begin with emotional cheating, which they are trying to validate. You can clearly see the boundaries of friendship have been crossed, but they still say, “we are just friends.’’ Be careful with such statements.

So the next time your partner does or says these things, you should have a clear conversation with them. These are signs of how cheating starts, and you don’t have to ignore them if you want to avoid getting heartbroken.

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