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How Cheating Affects The Cheater: 11 Effects Of Cheating

Seeing the person you loved and gave everything to please them betray your feelings and cheat on you is so painful and challenging to recover from. You may think that the consequences of infidelity are all yours to bear. But how cheating affects the cheater is as severe as what you are facing from their act.  Both sides face them. Naturally, a person who commits adultery will not feel right. A lot will change, not just in the relationship, but in how they think.

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The consequences of cheating haunt the cheater’s future relationship, their relationship with family and friends, and even mentally.  One can argue that a cheater can bear drastic consequences more than their victim.

Stress and guilt fills them

A cheater carries the burden of guilt and shame for a very long time and can have more severe consequences if not dealt with properly. There is nothing as painful as losing your integrity. A cheater feels the pain of self-betrayal and failure to keep their values.

People will judge them harshly

how cheating affects the cheater
Source: Counseling Today

Cheating justifies people’s judgment, abuse, manipulation, and anger towards a cheater. People will find it easy to ask questions about every decision they make. A cheater can be humiliated for their actions in front of their family, friends, and workmates.

They carry the blame

In most cases, whether the victim was the reason their partner resolved to infidelity, the blame will shift. A cheater cannot justify their actions to anyone. They will carry the blame for the troubled relationship. Not only can the victim blame them for every bad thing in the relationship, but in case there are children involved, they will also know who did the wrong thing. Even in their adulthood, they can blame you for their failed relationship when they look back in their history.

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They will find it hard to be trusted

Source: Medium

People will sooner forgive a drunk driver for causing an accident on the road if they promise to never drive while drunk again than they will forgive a cheater for hurting someone they love. Betraying and hurting the only person they can move that much means they can hurt anyone else. Most people around the cheater will be reluctant to trust such a person for fear of being hurt.

Cheating overshadows their success

All the success, records, and accomplishments will be nothing in front of anyone who knows about their infidelity. That one wrong turn is the only thing they will see in them. Whether a cheater had elevated their name and reputation by “saving the world,” that reputation crumbles down faster than it took to build. Taking it back on top will need an extraordinary effort.

A cheater finds it hard to settle in their next relationship

Source: Psychology Today

No other partner will fully believe that the cheater can put them first. “Once a cheater, always a cheater” phrase will always ring in their minds, giving them reasons to stay alert and question their moves. Their loyalty will be questioned. If they were not loyal to their partner, their vows, promises, and children, can they ever be faithful to anyone else?

Their next partner will be wondering if cheating entered their past relationship, why couldn’t it be the case in theirs? Settling in a new relationship for a cheater will be an uphill task.

A cheater will also find it hard to trust others

Maybe it was just a slip. But overall, they were outstanding. But they had other great qualities of a partner. But this one incident turned things around.  For this reason, a cheater believes that anyone is capable of doing the same to them. Whether their relationship is in perfect condition, if they committed infidelity to someone, what could stop others from doing the same to them?

Marriage gets even more challenging for them

Source: Best Legal Choices

A cheater always has a difficult choice to make if they were married. If they had decided to stay in their marriage after infidelity and work things out, they risk being a punching bag for the rest of their life. Their partner may forgive but may never forget. Any disagreement and infidelity incident pops up in the confrontation. When anything goes wrong in the relationship, they carry the burden.

Their partner may find it hard to trust again without seeing the mistake that was committed.

Worse still, a cheater can get disturbed when they see the pain in the eyes of their partner. They wonder if it is still the pain they caused them long ago.

Things will not be as before for them

Source: Monarch Camps

The intimacy and love you shared may change. When children are there, the cheater will find it hard to enjoy being around them and playing with them as before. Although children may not mention it, they show by their action. They feel betrayed. They seem unhappy and not enjoying their company. The emotional and physical distance between the cheater and the children begins to grow day by day.

Low Self Esteem

Source: UniLad

The cheater knows they have not just betrayed their partner but also their values and overall worth. Low self-esteem could extend to their workplace and affect their productivity. Worse, they can face mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

They will hurt the most if you call it quits

In case you decide that both of you cannot stay together and take the initiative of ending the relationship or marriage, the cheater will feel the break up the most. Cheating just shows they found you a better person than the person they are having an affair with. That is why they did not leave you for them. A cheater may be so much in love but still commit infidelity for some reason. 

However, a relationship or marriage can still be more robust after infidelity. A cheater can learn how to rebuild trust after cheating and save their relationship or marriage for good. 


Cheating affects both parties; the cheater and the victim. The pain and suffering are even worse for the cheater and hard to move on. 

Cheating is an ugly act that affects the relationship and people in their circle. It is important to avoid such burdens in life as they can completely change your life and deprive you of happiness.

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