Does Infidelity Pain Ever Go Away?: 8 Ways To Survive Infidelity Pain

Your partner cheated on you, and you have been bearing the infidelity pain ever since. You have been struggling to get past the bitter experience for so long to the point that you wonder whether the pain will go away.

Your partner’s infidelity may still be causing you mixed emotions such as shame, embarrassment, anger, and guilt. You have forgiven them, but just a little thought about the incident, and you become tearful.

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Going through infidelity pain is a process. Research shows that it takes between 18 and 24 months for the pain to go away entirely. The pain will not go away after a short time. But one sure thing is that it goes away. Knowing this is vital for your healing process.

One thing you should note, though, is that you will not always be in pain over the period.

Surviving Infidelity Pain After Being Cheated On

Surviving infidelity after being cheated on could seem impossible. It affects your thinking; you feel like you can’t breathe and stay sad most of the time. There is no specific strategy for overcoming the pain. But with a few tips, you can move through this miserable pain, hurt, and depression.


infidelity pain
Source: Allina Health

Science says that our breathing is tied to our emotions. Your emotional pain can affect your breathing. Just like when we are angry or have panicked due to fear, our breathing changes in rhythm to prepare for what is to follow.

Controlling your breathing at times of pain will help you reduce the pain. Take deep breaths regularly during the day.

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One of the most recommended methods is to count in reverse from 100 by 3s. 

  • Count 100 and take a deep breath through your nose
  • When you reach 97, exhale through the mouth
  • 94, take another deep breath through your nose.
  • Continue this until you reach 1.

This method helps your brain focus on something else other than the painful experiences.

Controlling your breath could seem to be a simple task, but it has a significant impact when it comes to cooling your emotions and pain. You will find out that you can control yourself and your feelings if you can manage your breath.


Infidelity pain can follow you to the bed with thoughts that can deprive you of a peaceful night’s sleep. 

You look around the room, and you remember your partner is not there. It reminds you of the cuddles and the romantic moments you shared. But their betrayal left you with an empty bed, just for you.

Despite all the memories that could keep you awake, you need to have a good rest every night. Learn about guided meditation that can help you to fall asleep quickly. Listen to some slow, soft sleeping songs to help you drift off to sleep.

If you feel like crying, don’t fight it. Cry it out, write down until you have nothing more to write. You will find this helpful than trying to resist.

Talk to someone

However, much you want to convince everyone that you are strong and have gotten over the pain, it is important to be honest. Find someone to talk to openly. One can listen to you without being judgemental. It could be a family member, a close friend, or a therapist, just someone you can be free with. The goal here is to avoid piling up the feelings that can lead you into isolation.

Write Often

Pen down your emotions and thoughts. You may not feel like doing it, but writing helps you release some you are feeling. So, grab a book, your computer or go to your phone’s journal and begin writing. 

Eat Well

infidelity pain

Infidelity pain can make you lose your appetite. In no short time, you may begin losing weight by avoiding eating. 

But this is the time you need to keep going and working on yourself. Do not let the pain tear you down. Eat well, and avoid skipping meals because of the thoughts.

Take it as a normal process

Understanding that the pain will pass after some time can help you treat it as a normal process and is something you can manage. 

You will experience painful emotions and thoughts that could test you from all angles. But when you understand that this will come to pass, you will stay calm, patient, and put the pain under control. Give it time, and it will go away.

Create time for yourself

This is the best time to go back to what you used to love doing before you met the cheater. Go back to those hobbies and activities that used to bring happiness and a smile to your face. Meet your friends and spend some time with them. Go out and treat yourself.

If there is something you ever wanted to learn but didn’t have much time for, you should start creating time for it. Doing what you love will help you divert your mind to something better, and you will find yourself enjoying life again.

Decide to move on

It will reach a time that you will develop the urge to move on and stop living in the past. After grieving for so long, you will feel renewed and ready to bury your past. 

If both of you have decided to work on your relationship once again, the process of forgiveness and rebuilding your relationship could begin after you have processed the pain.

Your partner also needs to heal from the affair before both of you can heal your relationship after infidelity.

Sometimes, not all relationships survive infidelity. In this case, the best thing to do is to end the relationship and move on.


Infidelity pain goes away after some time. It is a process that you should allow it to happen. Understanding that the pain cannot go away overnight will help you move through the process until you heal completely. Just know that it is not about you, but a natural process is taking place.

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