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Cheating & Infidelity

Can You Fall In Love With Your Affair Partner?

Secret affairs can be exciting, fun, and passionate, but most of them end up painfully. Only 15% of affairs last more than two years. Affairs are not a one-time thing. They are a long sexual relationship between two people with at least one already committed in a relationship or marriage.  While it is possible to fall in love with your affair partner, these affairs eventually hurt the parties involved and even close family members and friends.

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So many factors may contribute to you having an affair outside your relationship or marriage. One of the leading factors is the work environment.

 If you are already in an affair, you may be asking yourself whether you can fall in love with your affair partner. Although most will shy away from talking about this topic, there are some cases where affair partners have ended their relationship and moved on together. It is something to worry about if you are already asking this question. 

What Can Make You Fall In Love With Your Affair Partner?

As mentioned before, most cheating cases end up painfully and hurting all the parties and those close to them. A few may be harmless and can flourish for some reasons. 


fall in love with your affair partner

“Communication keeps a relationship going.” It also keeps a cheating relationship going on for a long time.  As long as you are in constant communication, you will keep on seeing each other. Worst, what you talk about. For instance, flirting with each other. Flirting makes you develop an attraction to someone and leads to sexual relationships. Flirting itself may not be considered infidelity. However, its effects lead to cheating and unfaithfulness.

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 When the attraction and interest grow due to constant communication, you may start developing feelings towards your affair partner.

When you think they are better

When you begin making comparisons between your actual partner and your affair partner and think that they are better, then you can find yourself loving them. People often look for someone who compliments, appreciates, and does not criticize them. All these can be harmful to a relationship when your affair partner is the one doing them. You will feel loved by them and find them better. In the end, loving such a person could be so easy.

If you don’t work on your relationship

You may find spending time with your affair partner to be fun and adventurous than in your relationship. You find yourself thinking about your affair partner most of the time. You just want to be with them and forget about your relationship. If you forget about your relationship and do not give it too much effort to save it, you may begin developing second thoughts about it. The idea of a breakup may even cross your mind so that you move on with your affair partner. But what if one of you is married? Is divorce the right thing to do?  Instead, you can still work your way into your relationship and avoid divorce.

You start questioning whether it was love.

The fun and energy in your relationship are over. What was brightening your relationship or marriage is no longer there. The connection is lost up to the point that you begin asking yourself if it was love in the first place. When you start asking yourself how you found yourself in your relationship, you may have just found love from somewhere else. Your affair partner may be so accommodating that you think they are the right person, especially when things are not working out in your relationship. If you keep receiving love and acts of affection from your affair partner, you may just develop feelings towards them.

If they keep entertaining your behavior

Most cheating affairs have failed to end because one of the parties or both are entertaining the other. This happens when they want to keep the sexual relationship going or develop feelings towards the other. If the other partner has developed feelings towards you, they may not show it but act suggesting it. They will do all things, especially when they are not committed. To win over you. Their actions may just compromise your thinking and feel loved.

Signs That You Have Fallen In Love With Your Affair Partner

You may even deny it in the first place. You can even question whether it is love or just lust that you have developed. These signs can tell whether you have fallen in love with your affair partner.

You make comparisons

When you fall in love with them, you begin comparing them with your relationship partner. You will find yourself comparing their virtues and why you feel your lover is better. This is common when cheaters do not want to feel guilty about their cheating behavior.

You become apathetic

When you start showing feelings of no interest or concern in your current relationship, it may be possible that you have loved elsewhere, in this case, your affair partner.

Distance grows

You begin felling apart, and the distance grows each day between you and your partner. There is no connection you can find with them. You find it difficult to visualize your plans with them and wonder whether you will be with them. If you find yourself not involving them in your plans, you will realize that you want to involve the other partner you feel you are in love with.

You start complaining about your real partner.

When you fall in love with your lover, you start complaining even about the small mistakes about your real partner to your lover. You tell them how they are not right for you, how they are not supportive, and how they are a terrible choice. A cheater gets irritated at everything in their relationship that is not working out properly.


Many people do not want to talk about the possibility of falling in love with the person they are cheating with. It could happen due to many reasons, including the fact that they are already in a commitment. Some are even married and will always deny the possibilities. But talking about it is the first step towards doing the right thing. While it is possible to fall in love with your affair partner, taking your time and reflect on the situation will help you make the right decision if it happens.

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