Love. You found a person that became the center of your world. You love all the times and moments you spend together. You invest yourselves emotionally and sexually with each other. You know the vices, but push them aside and only focus on your virtues. And suddenly, the person cheats on you. You ask the question, can one cheat on those they love? A study found out that it is possible to cheat on the person you love.
This is because there are three parts of your brain system that can make you feel a deep attachment to a long-term partner and, at the same time, feel an intense sexual desire with someone else. The third drive can even make you feel romantic love with a third person. This means it is possible to love one person at a time. And that is why some people can cheat on their partner.
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Other Reasons Why Infidelity Happens In Happy Relationships
People can be in a happy relationship and still cheat for some other reason.
Self-Exploration
Arguably one of the most powerful reasons why people cheat. People commit infidelity for multiple reasons. But the majority are as a result of self-discovery and a quest for a new identity. A cheater of this type finds nothing wrong with their unfaithfulness. They validate their infidelity as an explorative experience that brings growth and transformation.
Unfortunately, such cheaters never want to change who they are. They simply want to “feel young again” and experience life. When they cheat, they are not looking for another person, but themselves.
Attraction + Obstacles= Excitement
In The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin discusses the seductive nature of transgression in the book. In this situation, a cheater experiences an extra romantic experience since they want it more.
“Missed Opportunities”
A life not lived. Instead of transgression, the cheater has the urge to fulfill the life they never lived before getting in a commitment. Regardless of how much they enjoy their current relationship, the cheater may cheat at any opportunity that presents itself once more. Filled with too much curiosity, they want to experience the path they may have chosen.
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Lack of intimacy
When intimacy is absent in any relationship, one party may be tempted to find it outside a relationship. With the cheater still having a higher sexual appetite, they start thinking about other people sexually, and may begin cheating.
The Twist: Why A Cheater May Not Be In Love With Their Partner
On the other hand, it can be possible that the cheater is not actually in love with their partner. A cheater does not think of preserving but instead releasing. Cheater lacks loyalty.
True love never involves cheating. Most people agree with this. Here is why a cheater may not be in love with their partner.
A cheater is not selfless.
True love is selfless and sacrificial. When in love, you will let most things go for your partner. There is nothing sacrificial with cheating. A cheater has sacrificed nothing for her relationship and has risked their relationship at the expense of immediate satisfaction.
A cheater is not solid in the relationship.
A cheater’s “love” is easily shaken, raising the question if it was love in the first place. True love is always solid and complete. It does not mean much when love is unstable and faced with cheating.
A cheater is not confrontational.
Many cheaters try to validate things not working out in their relationship as their reason for cheating. They run away from their issues and cheat as a way of dealing with relationship issues. This should not be the case if you really love someone. True love makes one ready to deal with any problems in their relationship together. They confront every issue as a team and do not use them as an excuse for infidelity.
A cheater does not appreciate anything good in their relationship.
A cheater takes the positives of a relationship for granted. They fail to recognize the negatives of cheating. They also take love for granted, something that those who understand what love is, know that love outweighs the pleasure gained from an affair.
Cheating causes mistrust and betrayal, the negatives that are born out of false claims of love.
A cheater does not wholly accept their partner.
Love means accepting someone for who they are. A cheater commits infidelity for some reasons related to their partner. Maybe their partner does not satisfy them in bed or are less romantic. This means that, to some degree, they have not accepted who their partner is. That is why they try to find what they miss in their relationship elsewhere. If you do not accept your beloved for what they are, that may not be true love.
A cheater does not believe in love.
Cheaters try to validate the claim that you can cheat on those you truly love. But cheating involves breaking of trust. It causes harm to your partner, and it destroys everything you have built together.
If you think true love may involve cheating, then it is time to rethink this. Maybe you do not believe in love.
Conclusion
Cheating is a broad topic in any relationship. Knowing what is considered cheating in your relationship can be crucial when it comes to loyalty and faithfulness. Whether you can cheat on the person you love or not is also a mystery to be solved.
While some scientific reasons confirm the possibility of cheating on someone you love, true love outweighs this. True love does not involve cheating. When you find yourself cheating on your partner, there is a possibility that you do not love the person.
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