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Cheating & Infidelity

Top 7 Reasons Why People Cheat

why people cheat

There are many reasons why people cheat, these 7 reasons keep showing up in surveys and published studies time and time again. Knowing these reasons could help you prevent your partner from cheating so you don’t have to catch a cheater later in the relationship.

1.Fell Out Of Love

In a study of 500 cheaters, they wanted to find out why people cheat. 77% had said they did because they fell out of love. People don’t just fall out of love randomly, at some point, they stopped working on love. Love takes work, to keep your loved one feeling loved; Put them first. Be present for your lover even during the most painful times. Keep a no-blame game. Don’t continually blame your partner for their past mistakes. Want to keep the passion? See the mistake from their perspective and set them free so they won’t feel burdened by your pain, it gives them an opportunity to love deeper. Focus on the good in life together, it will bring a deeper connection and intimacy.

2.Adventurist/Variety

More common for men, they seek variety. The study has shown that men are seeking variety as a top reason why people cheat. To keep variety in the relationship without having your partner feel the need for a new body, change up your hair and the clothing style you wear during the day. You might want to consider talking about your sex life and if there is anything new they want to explore, new playful sensations could help fill a void if there is one. Sexy lingerie can create a sense of variety in the relationship. Ask your partner their fantasy, if it’s within your boundaries it may be time to explore it.

3. Pressured By The Situation and Opportunity

Predominantly men have said they felt like it was the particular situation they were in when they cheated. Drinking too much alcohol is one of the top reasons why people cheat. A group of friends recognizing an opportunity for your partner to be with someone very attractive and pressuring them into it is a frequent explanation. If your partner is a frequent drinker and has shown signs of being irresponsible, that could be a concern. If you do drink, encourage healthy habits by not drinking too much yourself and when you’re together. The quality of friends they keep is good to note, do they encourage well being or recklessness? Don’t change their friends, just remind your partner of what they deserve.

4.Commitment Issues

This may not be an “issue”, it might just be who they are. Remember we don’t want to change our partners, we need to let them be themselves. Changing them creates resentments, frustrations and a messy ending. It’s better to communicate openly, learn and explore who we are and who they are. That will flourish a healthy relationship for either the long term or a short experience with a lot less hurt and suffering. 41% of people in the study above indicated that they have low levels of commitment. That doesn’t mean they didn’t love their partner they just don’t like being committed to one person. Frequently revisit with your partner what they want so you are both on the same page.

5.Feel Neglected

A reason why people cheat that’s similar to feeling a lack of love is experiencing a feeling of neglect. For women a lack of attention was a common theme that motivated them to cheat. Attention can come in many different forms, from physical touch and meaningful eye contact to really listening when spoken to and responding with thoughtful comments. Compliments to their personality and character just as frequent as physical looks can really nourish positive feelings of attention.

6.They have done it before

Once a cheater always a cheater. That statement is false, but if they have cheated before they are more like to do it again then someone who has never cheated. Talk with your partner about previous relationships and if they have cheated before ask why. Try to see it from their perspective without judgement, which will help them open up. It may be one of the reasons we listed and something that can be easily avoided in the future.

7.Boost Self Esteem

People who cheat generally have low self-esteem, it may seem counterproductive because of the consequences that ensure after infidelity however a top reason why people cheat is to increase their own self-esteem. Being sexually active with a new person can create a rush of endorphins and short term positive feelings. If you know your partner has low self-esteem try building them up emotionally, compliment them frequently and show them how valued they are. Read books that build personal development and it might start to rub off on your partner when they see you bettering yourself. Working on your own personal development can indirectly encourage your partner to do the same.

– The reasons why people cheat have been documented in different studies and talked about in various counselling circles. We encourage you to review these ideas and think about it in your own life and other relationships you know about, you probably heard the same reasons why people cheat before. Use these factors as a way to build your relationship and stay out of the cheating zone. If you have already been cheated on or you cheated on your partner look for our next article on how to repair the damage of cheating.

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