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Cheating & Infidelity

5 Ways To Prevent A Cheater

prevent a cheater

You can prevent a cheater by not dating a cheater, wouldn’t that would be easy. We never really know who is capable of cheating. We may get to know our partners very well, but there will not come a time when we fully understand the people we are with. There are countless stories of people being with their partners for a decade or more then come to find out they were cheating for half of it, stealing money or some form of dishonest behaviour. To prevent a cheater lets go over some of the important basics.

1.Mate Guarding

It comes down to biology, we are wired to guard our partners against going elsewhere. The study from  Buss (1988) titled Tactics of Mate Attraction indicates we use tactics to keep our mates faithful and also to ward off potential rivals. Buss continued his studies and found out that some behaviours were more effective to prevent a cheater then others. Tactics that were the most effective showed to be seduction for women, money displaying for men, showing forms of love, and physical fitness for both sexes. Techniques that were negative; violent or controlling showed to be not beneficial. The result, positive seduction and enticement will keep your partner engaged in the relationship far more than negative.

2. 5 Love Languages

You are both in love, but do you both feel it? Gary Chapman outlines in his book “The 5 love languages” that each person has one primary and one secondary love language. If we do not speak to your partners love language then they will not feel loved. You may show love to them in the way you understand such as words of affirmation but to your partner words do not mean a lot. They would much rather have you show your love through action but that form of expressing love is being missed therefor they feel as though you don’t care. Multiply this over many months or a couple of years and your partner might be looking elsewhere for that love. Read the book yourself and as a couple. It can build the quality of your relationship and help prevent a cheater.

3.Improving Physical Appearance

Mehrabian and Blum (1997) created a study where they wanted to find out what physical features were most attractive to the opposite sex. “Self-care” fell under the most attractive feature. Self-care was noted as wearing nice clothes, upright posture, and being aware of the food they were eating. Other than self-care, not as important but still a good quality was for men to show masculine features (broad shoulders and chest with a strong jawline) and for women to have more feminine features (long hair, makeup, and using body language indicating sensuality). Another quality was being nice to be around, makes sense because who wants to be around someone always nagging or making fun of other people.

4.Focus On Positive Rewards

It’s common to feel that controlling and manipulating our partners into staying with us is a better route. Control can give you a feeling of power over your partner directly and manipulating allows you to feel like your inside their mind, but if we go back to the Mate Guarding study we know this does not work out good in the end. Rather we prevent a cheater by encouraging your partner’s own desire and motivation to stay by; Sexual attention to men directly after a man shows you consideration and thoughtfulness was shown to keep a man. For a woman the occasional night out or a romantic gesture such as making a candlelit supper, was successful in keeping them happy.

5.Suspect they are cheating? Communication!

If you have come across any of the common signs of cheating its not too late. Communication is the most effective form of troubleshooting any relationship problems. Sex, looking your best, date nights, gifts, love notes, words of affirmation, all these help a lot but without actually talking about any problems or what needs to be worked on none of it will help. Talking with your partner when you sense something is wrong is the first step. If they won’t open up give it a day or two but stick at it. If you need help call a counsellor, be open to learning what is necessary for your own development. Enhance your own communication skills by reading relationship books and you might be able to talk it out.

-People don’t just randomly fall out of love, its a series of events or situations that cause them to stop wanting to work on love. Prevent a cheater by continually working on the relationship to create longevity and keep the passion. The work will pay off in the satisfying emotions and fun you will have.

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